©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.
DRIVE-IN SERVICE FOR SENIORS
An 85-year-old Mount Healthy, Ohio man didn't have far to go for body work after he crashed his 1984 Buick Royale. Peter Zillick lost control of the car at a busy intersection and drove it through the wall of an auto body repair shop.
YOU DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' NOVOCAINE
Hialeah, Florida police arrested a man for operating an illegal dentistry practice. Authorities say the perp used unsterilized homemade drills and auto tools to work on patients out of the trunk of his run-down 1980 Ford Mustang. An undercover cop posed as a patient - and had no work done before busting the fake doctor.
OVERDUE HORSELESS CARRIAGE
A Reno, Nevada man was assessed a gigantic late fee for re-registering his Datsun - over 378 thousand dollars. Robert Challender said he'd go to jail before paying that much for a 30-day overdue registration. The DMV says a computer mixup made records show that he hadn't re-registered the 1978 car since 1900 ... and corrected his fine to 60 dollars.
Puerto Vallarta prosecutors looking into the deaths of five patients at the regional state hospital found that some gas bottles had been mislabeled. They questioned a maintenance worker and a physician after discovering that five bottles labeled oxygen actually contained carbon dioxide.
A Providence, Rhode Island traffic court clerk was fired and arrested after allegedly cheating a blind vendor at the court house. Police say 33-year-old Pamela Bingham gave Richard Fracasso a one-dollar bill for an apple juice and told him it was a twenty.
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
A 43-year-old Georgetowm, Guyana woman who was attacked by her husband went to the hospital to determine the extent of her injuries. An x-ray revealed that a pair of medical scissors had been left in her chest during an operation in 1990.
WHO WANTS TO DATE A FELON?
Producers of a Finnish version of The Dating Game didn't do a very thorough background check on the man a woman chose to accompany her on a romantic voyage. After being tipped off by a viewer, they informed the woman that the man she was about to embark with had served five years in jail for a bank robbery in which his accplice gunned down a police officer. She said she would reconsider taking the trip.
Marysville, Washington police warned residents that a burglar had stolen a freshly cleaned and pressed police uniform during a break-in at a local cleaners. They were asked to report any apparant Marysville officers who may be acting suspiciously.
DYING WORDS ARE THE KEY
A full investigation has been launched after a condemned prisoner spit out a handcuff key shortly after being given his lethal injection. Ponchai Wilkerson had tried to break out of death row at least twice, and had struggled with guards the day leading up to his execution. As he died, Wilkerson said, The secret, as of Wilkerson, as the key fell out of his mouth.
A would-be burglar in Milledgeville, Georgia injured himself breaking a window and tracked blood through the house. Police responding to an alarm also noticed the doorbell was missing. They found the suspect at a local emergency room beaing treated for a cut. They found the doorbell in his pocket. The perp told police he ran from the scene empty-handed when police arrived, but had no idea how he had picked up the doorbell.
A man traveling a German highway to pick up a speed radar device for his suburban Frankfurt town was busted by the same type of device. The man was charged with going 120 miles per hour in a 60 zone. Police said the man's hometown evidently needs the equipment.
The front tire of an American Airlines jet fell off as the plane was approaching L.A. International Airport. The tire - traveling at 200 miles an hour - hit an intersection near a school, bounced over a two-story building, and came to rest in an empty parking lot. The jet landed without incident.
A group of women from 24 Catholic church groups stormed a Kandara, Kenya police station and gave the officer in charge an ultimatum: either close the illegal drinking dens that are making their husbands impotent, or order his men to make love to them. The women said they were extremely frustrated because their husbands had been leaving home to drink from early morning to late at night.
ALL SUGARED UP?
During a heated argument over a missing can of chocolate cake frosting, a Dover, New Jersey father handed his 10-year-old son a kitchen knife and goaded him, If you really hate me that much, go a ahead and kill me. The boy plunged the knife into his father's chest, killing him.
DRIVING TO CHURCH
A New Port Richey, Florida Church went to court because it kept getting pelted with golf balls from an adjacent driving range. The River Ridge Presbyterian church has a 50-gallon trash can filled with wayward balls. It asked the court to sell the balls and use the money to pay for damage - plus order All Star Golf to put up nets.
HALO & HELMET
An officer in Sebastopol, California say an 11-year-old boy lived through a bizarre truck-bicycle accident because he had an angel on his shoulder and a helmet on his head. When a pickup truck was rear-ended at an interesection, its driver was knocked unconscious and fell on the gas pedal. The pickup mowed down the boy's bike and dragged him 350 feet before crashing into a building. The boy escaped with fractures to an arm and leg. Officer Bob Smith said the helmet was severely damaged from absorbing a great deal of impact.
DOOR TO DOOR SALES
Several construction site robberies had taken place in Selma, California, where a custom home was being built. Among the stolen items was a non-standard eight-foot-tall forty-two-inch-wide door with a one-of-a-kind oval leaded-glass window. The homeowner found a classified ad in the Fresno Bee newspaper for a non-standard eight-foot-tall forty-two-inch-wide door with a one-of-a-kind oval leaded-glass window. The seller was busted when the homeowner's key fit the door's lock. Fresno County authorities also found a barn full of stolen items.
A 12-year-old boy who accidentally pierced his heart with a pencil was lucky to have a nurse for a mom. As the pencil throbbed to the beat of his heart, his mother rushed him to a Helena, Montana hospital. Surgeons removed the pencil and repaired a heart valve and chamber. Had the mom removed the pencil, the boy would have died.
NO SPEAK ENGLISH
A Korean-American store owner in Lexington, Kentucky found a unique way to stall a robber after sounding a silent alarm. He pretended he couldn't comprehend English. While the crook repeatedly demanded a hundred dollars, Meng Choi would say things like, I no have nothing in store worth hundred dollars. The robber was still trying to get his demands across when police arrived and arrested him.
HEY, THAT'S US!
A couple posed for a series of nude photos at the Montreal Love & Seduction Show after being guaranteed the session would be completely confidential. A year later, they were seeking a court injunction after discovering the photos were used for advertising posters, an internet site, a porno magazine and the photographer's business cards.
SURGERY WAS HIS CALLING
A Hong Kong doctor faced serious disciplinary measures for not paying full attention while conducting surgery. His patient - who was not under general anesthesia - heard the doctor chatting on his cell phone while removing a growth from his colon.
DUMB & DUMBER
Officials at a bank in Owings Mills, Maryland felt pretty dumb after giving a 75-hundred-dollar loan to a man they thought was a Ravens football player ... only to find out he was a fake. But the poser was even dumber. He returned to the bank when they called his cellphone and told to come back to to pick up a debit card for an extra thousand dollars on his credit line. Police were waiting to arrest him upon his return.
WHO WANTS TO BE A BILLIONAIRE?
About four dozen depositors at Hang Seng Bank in Hong Kong became instant billionaires when a computer glitch added several nines to their account balances. The bank quickly fixed the problem - and found that no one had attempted to withdraw the extra money.
BAG OF WINDFALL
When a New York City receptionist noticed that 700 grand had mysteriously appeared in her Chase Manhattan checking account, she didn't do the right thing. She told bank examiners she won the money in a lottery. But the bank found out that the money had been wired to the United Nations, but under the woman's account number by mistake. She was charged with making a false statement and bank larceny after spending a quarter-million paying off bank cards, purchasing a laundromat, opening a college fund for her son and starting a retirement plan.
WE HOPE THE SAFETY WAS ON
A woman attempting to smuggle a pistol into a Bogata, Colombia prison had to have the gun surgically removed. 43-year-old Tirisa Ruiz was admitted to El Tunal Hospital for the procedure after the weapon became lodged in her colon.
An attorney for a Conemaugh, Pennsylvania police officer argued that the cop should be able to keep 20 thousand dollars he found in a snowbank during a traffic stop. After denying the money was his at the scene, the motorist later claimed it was accidentally thrown out with beer cans as the officer approached. At the time, the Commonwealth Court ruled the money would go to the state treasury.
NO PAIN IN THE NECK
A 62-year-old Darby, Pennsylvania woman spent an hour shopping at her neighborhood grocery store without anyone noticing a kitchen knife stuck in her neck. The knife handle was clearly visible - even on the store's security tape - but it was her daughter who first noticed it when the woman returned home. Darlene Jones says she thought a passerby had simply slapped her on the back of the neck while she walking to the store, and didn't even recall whether it was a man or a woman.
Miss Northeast Arkansas turned in her crown after being convicted of drunk driving. The pageant-winner was arrested on her way home from a speech before a civic club at which she urged people not to drink and drive. Representatives from Mothers Against Drunk Driving say Bethany Tosh shouted an obscenity to them outside the courtroom after she was sentenced to an 800 dollar fine and 40 hours of community service.
BUT WAS HE MAKING A DEPOSIT OR A WITHDRAWAL?
A police report from Ewing, New Jersey says Bryant Gilliam found a unique way of getting attention when a bank president refused to meet with him. Police arrested Gilliam as he strutted around a Sovereign Bank branch stark naked. He was remanded to psychiatric observation.
POCKET MONSTER POCKET MONEY
An 11-year-old Pittsburg, California boy took his school district to court after his middle school lost the Pokemon card collection they had confiscated from him. Rudy Donithan-Treat was awarded 15 hundred dollars by a superior court judge. The judge said his grandson was a Pokemon fan, too, and that once the school had taken the cards, they should have been responsible for them.
NO WAY TO GET AWAY
A woman suspected of robbing an Albuquerque Waffle House was probably intending to use the money to fix her car. The 1980 Datsun stalled out after the perp robbed 300 dollars from the restaurant. Posing as a helpful passerby, a retired police officer who had seen the robbery pretended to fix her car while another patron summoned police to the scene.
NOT TO HER CREDIT
A woman who allegedly robbed a Hampton, Virginia department store wasn't hard to find. Police say 18-year-old Kayana Gilchrist had filled out a credit card application before showing a clerk a gun and making off with money from a cash register. Using the address on the application, police arrested Gilchrist and recovered the stolen money within 90 minutes of the hold-up.
PERPS PICKING UP PICKUPS PICK UP
The Toyota Camry and Honda Accord remain the most-sought models by car thieves in the United States. But the crooks might want to haul other stolen goods, too. The 1997 Ford F-150 pickup has entered the most-stolen top 10.
ONE DOG NIGHT
Copper the three-legged dog used wimpering and her only forepaw to awaken a Raleigh, North Carolina couple when fire broke out in their home. Dallas and Christie Cameron were able to remove Copper and their teenage sons before flames consumed the home. Dallas Cameron remarked that it was a good thing they started letting the dog sleep with them.
NOT DEAD, JUST BURIED - IN RED TAPE
73-year-old Zerubbabel Evans discovered that the Social Security Administration had taken its money back. The agency withdrew 26 hundred dollars from Evans' bank account because they claimed he was dead. He had to appear for an SSA agent with a photo ID to prove he was alive ... even though the administration hadn't required proof that he was dead.
NO LOVE FOR DOT GOV
While investigating hackers who had been disrupting access to major web sites, the FBI had their own site hacked. Their site was inaccessible for over three hours. A former FBI computer expert said the case was a war between the bureau and the hackers, and the hackers apparently won the first battle.
HOME SHOPPING NOT-WORK
Two Canadians who were trying to buy cocaine over the phone called the wrong number in the Cayman Islands - and wound up talking to the deputy chief of a drug task force. The pair were arrested after an undercover officer set up a fake deal.
A London man was unable to work for 14 weeks after he broke four ribs when he was hit by a bus. He wrote to the bus company outlining his claim for damages. But in return, he received a bill for 845 dollars because the bus sustained a broken light and windshield. The bus company claims Norman Green wasn't looking where he was going.
BLAIR SWITCH PROJECT
Employees of a video store in New York City who also dealt drugs had a unique way of doing drug transactions. Police say they would rent fake video cassettes containing large sums of money to their dealers. Later, the dealers fill the cassettes with cocaine and return them to the night drop. The scheme was uncovered during a flu outbreak at the store, when a temporary employee processed some returned rentals.
SANTA CLAUS, NOT!
A skinny burglar in Cincinnati wasn't skinny enough to pull off a job at a tavern. He apparently jumped from a tree to the roof and went down the chimney, only to become stuck. Firefighters who freed him found that he had also accidentally stabbed himself with his own knife. The suspect was arrested for aggravated burglary and carrying a concealed weapon.
A Montana teenager who used his dad's old two-ton farm truck to break through the storefront of a collectible comic book store was easily tracked down by authorities. The truck's license plate was embedded in the smashed checkout counter.
THAT'S NOT KOSHER
A well-reputed restaurant in San Jose began calling local synagogues to apologize after it was disclosed that a chef had been serving pork tenderloin under the guise of veal for over five years. The Santa Clara County district attorney said the chef had been making the switch to save the restaurant money ... but without the owner's knowledge.
Police in Copenhagen shut down an art exhibit in which goldfish were swimming around in blenders. Part of the interactive exhibit allowed patrons to turn on the blenders if they wanted. The Trapholt Art Museum was cited for animal cruelty.
An Athletic Association in Jupiter, Florida did something about the fighting at local junior league games. The kids weren't the problem - it was the parents. In order to attend games, parents were ordered to attend sportsmanship classes and sign a code of good behavior.
It was the most widely-distributed mug shot in the history of Mexico. A mugger took the vanity route when he noticed he was holding up a photographer. Instead of asking for money, he wanted his picture taken. The crook, posing with his gun in the air, made the front page of Mexico City's Reforma newspaper.
CROOKS NO LONGER IN THE PINK?
Canadian officials said they could put a dent in crime by eliminating the thousand-dollar bill, known as the pinky. The R.C.M.P. and the Finance Department said making the 100-dollar bill the largest denomination would make stolen money 10 times heavier for criminals.
A Norrland, Sweden woman who was convicted of making illegal booze was let out of her prison sentence because she was too fat. She was fined 17 hundred dollars in lieu of a jail term after arguing that the town would have the added expense of dressing and bathing the 360-pound bootlegger.
LEGAL LAPSE OF LUXURY
Florida officials determined that a West Palm Beach car dealer owes at least five people a free Lexus. In newspaper ads, the dealership promised a free car if salespeople could match or beat payments on a comparable car. There was fine print, but no one could read it ... not even the dealership's lawyer.
Police in the central Utah town of Salina said it was human feces that came out of the sky and struck two houses and two cars. Firefighters used high-pressure hoses to clean the matter away. The FAA was unable to pinpoint which flights may have illegally ejected the waste over a residential area.
A Duluth man who purchased a historic log cabin got the surprise of his life when he traveled to Georgia to pick it up. It had been stolen ... piece by piece. Columbia County deputies said the 20-foot notched and numbered sections were probably stolen by someone with a crane and a flatbed rig.
JAMOCHA ALMOND BUG
A Santa Fe woman filed a suit against Baskin-Robbins, claiming she developed an eating disorder after munching on a 2-inch cockroach that was in an ice cream cake. Vanessa Auclair reportedly consumed the high-protein version of the cake at a friend's birthday party.
PEOPLE'S PROZAC PRICE OUTPACES PUPPIES'
Congressional investigators found that prescription drugs are priced far lower when they're sold to pets instead of humans. A drug company representative tried to justify the discrepancy to the House Reform Committee by saying it costs more to test the drugs on humans.
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T LEND THINGS TO NEIGHBORS
A stonemason in Goinania, Brazil ran into his neighbor's house, saying he urgently needed to borrow a knife. When the neighbor complied, the man started stabbing himself in the chest and stomach. Police were summoned, and the man lobbed off his sex organ when they attempted to arrest him. A hospital spokesperson said later that a reattachment operation was successful.
MONOTYPICAL CAB DRIVER
The City Of New York honored a cab driver who made an extra effort to help a pair of customers find a lost engagement ring. Following his shift, Larry Davis retraced the route which he had used and found the diamond ring on a city sidewalk where he had picked up some other passengers. The cabbie refused a reward.
THE NAKED TRUTH
A man who was accused of shoplifting at a Springfield, Virginia mall pulled down his pants to show he was innocent - exposing himself to employees and shoppers. A charge of indecent exposure was added to his shoplifting count after a guard found merchandise hidden the suspect's jacket lining.
TERRIBLE ATMOSPHERE, BUT THE FOOD IS ADDICTIVE
Guards at a prison in Greece found heroin hidden in roasted chicken and some steaks brought in by inmates' wives. The women didn't realize that drug-sniffing dogs are trained to know the difference and ignore meat. Officials found some smack in some laundry, too. They arrested a man attempting to smuggle heroin to his imprisoned father by soaking shoelaces in the drug.
Alyson Fuchs of Brooklyn was notified that if she didn't show up for jury duty, she'd face a fine and possibly some jail time. But the clerk sent her home because she was 9 - half the legal age to serve.
TICKETING FOR TREASURES
A vehicle stop in Victoria, Australia led to the recovery of a stolen art treasure. Police were amazed to find that a painting casually placed on the back seat was a 126-thousand-dollar Albert Tucker classic which had been stolen 13 years prior from a Sydney gallery.
New York firefighter was charged with stealing gourmet food and wine from a restaurant that rented space beneath his home. Police say Albert Hohmann was caught by a security camera at least 20 times while he was snacking after hours in the restaurant - stark naked.
A New York City office supplier says an online customer threatened to blow up their warehouse because they were out of toner for his printer. Police say the 36-year-old man, who was charged with making terrorist threats, was easy to find. He had signed on to the website with his name and account number in order to e-mail the threat.
A massive manhunt for a murder suspect was out in Eastern Wyoming on a cold, rainy day. So two armed ranchers knew who the stranger on their property was, and took him into custody. But before they turned him over to the FBI, they showed him some Wyoming hospitality ... giving him warm, dry clothes and a hot meal.
Suffolk, Virginia police officers petitioned to get rid of their black oxford shoes. Officers and their union say they'd do a better job of chasing crooks in comfortable athletic shoes.
A man wanted in Montreal in connection with 125 burglaries told police he'd gladly give himself up if he were allowed to finish a romantic weekend with his sweethart at a resort ... which he named. He was arrested moments later at the hotel.
LET'S GO TO WORK
A doctor who found a mugger in the back seat of her car told the perp she'd be able to get cash from the ATM at the hospital where she worked. While the mugger waited in the car, she went into Lewisham Hospital in south London and alerted police officers who were making out a report in the emergency room.
The Gretna, Louisiana city council declared it was pro-panties by a 4 to nothing vote. The council made it legal for panties to be thrown from carnival floats, noting that underwear has been a legal throw for years at Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
LOOK, IT'S GRANDMUMMY!
A British senior citizen was appalled that the Dover city council would not let him bury his wife in their yard. Terry Lee - saying his wife was 100 per cent against cremation - planned to have her embalmed and displayed in his front room.
HELLO? DO I EXIST?
A 50-year-old Roanoke, Virginia woman was remanded to mental treatment in prison after attempting a bar holdup that patrons wouldn't take seriously. Linda Lee Kraige walked in waving a gun and demanding 100 dollars, but the patrons ignored her. She resorted to pleading, which was met with laughter, so she left empty-handed. But the bartender called police, who found her sitting on a bench outside the bar.
Although a San Joaquin County, California supervisor was caught on video tape destroying his opponent's campaign signs, the opponent said he wouldn't press charges. Victor Mow said he'd let the voters be the judge and jury.
THE GRAFFITI PARTY
Two of Mexico's top political candidates held a rally which involved spray-painting their slogans on a stadium wall. Mexico City officials promptly fined them 44 dollars a piece for defacing public property.
A Winnipeg maintenance worker is credited with breaking the fall of a woman who was knocked into his construction hole. The Canadian Wheat Board employee was struck by the mirror of a truck which sent her into the hole. A coworker yelled Look out! and Ryan Turcan instinctively held out his arms. The woman landed in them perfectly ... with no injuries to either.
©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.