©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.
A woman who bought a chicken sandwich at an Indianapolis KFC drive-through found 2 thousand dollars in her paper bag instead. She'd been given the store's bank deposit. It wasn't known if the chicken sandwich was deposited to the bank.
GLADDER BLADDER MATTER
A modest Albanian border officer stepped into Macedonia to relieve himself and was promptly arrested. After explaining that the only trees were on the Macadonian side of the border, officials released him.
BIG MAC ATTACK
Worcester, Massachusetts police say a bank robber's hunger was his undoing. They say the suspect ditched his cap and jacket in some bushes, bought a soda and lottery tickets at the liquor store next to the bank, then called a cab to take him to McDonald's. He was arrested sitting in the cab with cash stuffed in his pockets.
A Central Falls, Rhode Island man was arrested after allegedly stealing a car, crashing into six others while driving the wrong way on a one-way street, and assaulting firefighters who tried to help him out of a wreck. Police report he was remanded for psychiatric evaluation because he pulled off his crime spree while stark naked.
WARNING! WILL! PENNY! RETURN TO THE SHIP!
An anti-crime device being tested in New York City had local residents worried. At the push of a wireless button, the invention activates a siren and strobe lights while a recorded voice from the top of a building bellows, Intruder on the block! Call police! Neighborhood residents feared trigger-happy residents would be more of a problem than criminals.
DEA agents found two women carrying a Winnie The Pooh stuffed bear during a spot check of an Amtrak train in Albuquerque. The toy seemed heavy for a plush toy - and agents discovered it was stuffed with 68 thousand dollars cash.
FROM THE BAKERY AND THE BARBER
A Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin student was bounced from his senior class after giving a sheet cake to school administrators, claiming it was his birthday. The cake was stuffed with human hair.
LIGHTS! CAMERAS! FRACTURE!
A centries-old sun clock - one of the most precious jewels of an Inca citidel in Peru - was damaged by a film crew. The granite block wasn't broken during the filming of a documentary of the Inca ruins - the crew was filming a beer commercial.
Olympic medalist Harry Prieste decided to come clean and give back an Olympic flag he and a friend stole from the Antwerp games in 1920. Prieste - at age 103 - said he'd kept the flag locked up and would probably never get a chance to display it.
NEXT TIME, TRY DUCT TAPE
The night clerk at a Shawnee, Kansas convenience store claimed that thieves forced him to put tape over the lenses of security cameras and hand over the store's cash. Upon reviewing the security video, police noticed that the tape was transparent enough to see that no one robbed the store. The clerk was arrested and the money was found hidden in a trash bin.
CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!
U.S. officials arrested 19 people doing business under the name Omega Trust and Trading, Ltd. for allegedly bilking hundreds of people out of a total of 18 million dollars. Officials say the suspects convinced their victims to mail $100 bills wrapped in aluminum foil to addresses in four states.
ONE-HOUR MUG SHOT PROCESSING
A 38-year-old LaPorte, Indiana man was arrested for growing pot in his house after police were provided with photographic evidence. The suspect's snapshots of himself posing with his plants were turned over to officials by a film developer.
Giles County, Tennessee drivers were unhappy when the state's new batch of license plates contained vowels in their three-letter sequences. Among the new plates were those containing the prefixes DUH, DUD, DUM and FAT.
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO IT
A company in Richmond, California specializes in cleaning up grotesque crime scenes after the police are done gathering evidence. Crime Scene Cleaners specializes in splattered brains, smeared blood and decomposing flesh.
A fistfight broke out between two Republican state legislators in a radio station parking lot after one criticized the other's father on a Miami talk show. When Radio Mambi's talk host suggested a station reporter call 911, her listeners thought she was talking to them - hundreds called the 911 system, causing it to crash for 20 minutes.
A man called 911 in Lancaster, South Carolina to identify the suspect in a convenience store robbery. Police say a sobbing Robert Benson identified the robber as himself. He called from the pay phone at another convenience store.
Kelli Welding thought her kids were playing detective again when she heard them screaming for help. Deciding to check anyway, she discovered her kids had found a neighbor who was trapped in the trunk of his 1988 Lincoln. Richard Kuehl of Morrison, Illinois had stepped into the trunk to repair the lid when the wooden prop fell out, trapping him inside.
If you tell Charles Doremus of Buckley, Washington that lightning never strikes twice in the same place, he'll disagree. After a bolt struck a maple tree, Doremus approached it to take a look - and a second bolt struck. Doremus survived with burns to the head, chest and feet. Not surviving were four TV sets, a computer, three telephones and a satellite dish.
A Massachusetts couple had to make do with an x-ray of the bride's ring at their wedding ceremony. Mark Meltz's Labrador Liza had eaten it. After the couple departed for their honeymoon, reporters gathered at Meltz's mother's house in Ipswich, Massachusetts hoping to catch the ring emerging from the other end of the dog. But the reporters fed Liza so many treats, the ring reappeared when she barfed.
HAPPY TO SEE US?
A man and woman flying into Miami from Paris caught the attention of customs agents because their bicycle shorts looked a bit baggy. Officials found a half-million dollars worth of ecstasy in their pants.
Thirteen partiers in Pucallpa, Peru thought they'd gotten terrible hangovers from an eggnog-like punchbowl drink called nun's milk. But instead of slowly recovering, they died. Health officials say the drink was laced with rubbing alcohol.
An Anchorage woman received a 360-day suspended sentence and was ordered to seek mental health counseling after faking she was pregnant and collecting over 500 dollars worth of cash and gifts. To avoid suspicion, she later pretended that she had stillborn twins and arranged a memorial service. Erica Duran was also ordered to pay back the 855 dollars she owed the funeral home. Prosectors said Duran was also caught stealing 12 thousand dollars from a bank where she worked as a teller.
A Coventry, Rhode Island man was arrested after allegedly putting nude photos of himself under windshield wiper blades and waiting for the drivers' reactions. Police said he also followed a woman after she got an eyeful of his photo in a Wal-Mart parking lot. David Compton was charged with disorderly conduct and stalking.
UNRAVELED BY THE GAVEL
Colorado State University was able to recover 7 thousand dollars worth of electronic equipment stolen from its engineering department. Fort Collins, Colorado detective Chris Wolf said the thief put the unique items up for auction on the eBay web site.
AND SHE'S A PEDESTRIAN, TOO
A pediatrician was forced out of her home in south Wales because of threats and harrassment by neighbors who confused the word pediatrician with pedophile. Police said Yvette Cloete was the victim of extraordinary ignorance.
ISH THE TESHT OVER?
An Oakland Park, Illinois man went to Driver's School to reduce his sentence for a speeding ticket ... and got deeper into trouble. Police say he had alcohol on his breath and flunked the course because he slept through it. A breathalyzer test confirmed he was over the legal limit, but against the advice of an officer, he attempted to drive home. He was charged with drunk driving, open containers of alcohol in a vehicle, disobeying a police officer and failure to wear a seatbelt.
NOW THAT'S A DELIVERY
New York Daily News distribution truck driver Bob Halberstadt was used to making deliveries at 4:30 am. But when a car stopped in front of him and blocked traffic in the Holland Tunnel, he wound up putting his EMT skills to use for a different kind of delivery - a 7-pound, 12-ounce baby boy.
WHO'S THE REAL TERRORIST?
A dance instructor sued police and the Grand Rapids, Minnesota school district after a SWAT team conducted a training exercise in the wrong building. Instead of storming the high school next door, they seized the Reif Arts Center, and treated Nikki Miskovich like the actor who was supposed to portray a terrorist in the drill. Her lawsuit sought damages for trauma, recurring nightmares and terror.
A former student was hired by East Carolina University for his expertise on the school's computer network. His experience included a conviction for hacking into the network three years earlier.
Dr. Diane Deveau of Yarmouth, Nova Scotia was ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation after her tenth conviction for failing to fill out her tax returns. Dr. Deveau's lawyer claimed she has a fear of tax forms.
A mob of women descended on the police station in Batambang, Cambodia after police arrested a suspect in a series of rapes. Outnumbering the police force thirty-to-one, the mob broke into the station and dragged away the suspect. The women hacked off the suspect's manhood, ran it through a meatgrinder and served it to him on a plate. Then they chopped him to death with axes and knives. There were no arrests.
WHAT ALES YOU
Panic raced through a Southampton, England hospital when a badly-injured patient disappeared. It turned out that friends had taken motorcycle accident victim Malcolm Storey out to his favorite pub for a few rounds of drinks. Storey was suffering from a broken spine, pelvis, arm and nose.
Workers at a seafood wholesaler in Cairns, Australia were shocked to find a human head inside a 97-pound codfish they were preparing for sale. The intact head belonged to a fisherman who had fallen overboard two days earlier.
WHAT 'AVE WE 'ERE?
A skeleton found in the outbuilding of a Welsh pub was identified as the property's former landlady, who had been missing for 27 years. The woman's husband - who died a decade before the discovery - had claimed his wife left him and moved to Australia.
GET UP AND GO TO JAIL
A Littleton, Colorado couple opened the morning paper and saw a picture of their 19-year-old son ... robbing a video store in a photo taken from a surveillance tape. They woke up their son and turned him into police. Detective Russ Hoffman said he wished there were more parents like that.
ANTS IN HIS PANTS
An inmate who escaped from a Jefferson County, Arkansas prison should have been just a tad more patient. While Sherman Parks allegedly made his jail break, a judge was declaring that he had served enough time on burglary charges and should be released. Parks was re-arrested and charged with escape.
KIDS THESE DAYS
A 12-year-old Akron, Ohio boy was charged with mugging two boys by pointing a loaded gun at their feet and firing it. Police say the suspect made off with 15 cents.
A Van Buren, Arkansas jail escapee was wearing his striped prison uniform when police gave chase. Police said Danny Morts removed the uniform, but still stood out in a crowd ... he was stark naked when he was re-arrested.
GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL
An Acme Supermarkets manager in Doylestown, Pennsylvania was convicted of stealing 132-thousand-dollars worth of Pokemon cards. 44-year-old Paul Ritchey was nabbed after records showed he ordered a large number of cards for his store, but never sold them.
WHITE COATS ON WHEELS
Farmington, New Mexico officials put a crew of paramedics on mountain bikes. An intern said a bike can reach a patient much faster than an ambulance in heavy traffic.
Police searched for a con man in Toyonaka, Japan who used an E Coli scam to fuel his perversion. Authorities said he'd call women and explain that there'd been an outbreak, instructing them to take off their panties, put them in a plastic bag, and leave them for him.
IN AMERICA, WE USE A THUMB
A German tourist stripped naked in the hopes of hitching a ride from Gastonia, North Carolina to her destination in Norfolk, Virginia. After motorists called 911 instead of stopping, she was offered a ride by a state trooper - to jail.
The airport in Shantou, China was forced to close for 10 hours due to unsafe conditions. Thieves had stolen two-thirds of the landing lights.
A Munich man was ordered not to use his motorized wheelchair for three months after being found guilty of operating it while drunk. His lawyer unsuccessfully attempted to convince the court the wheelchair was not a vehicle.
WHAT ARE WE FORGETTING?
Two men suspected of robbing a gas station in East Peoria, Illinois forgot one thing - some gas. Police say the crooks ran out of fuel shortly after fleeing the scene, and walked to another station to get gas. Police arrested them as they returned to their car.
GAMBLER'S BAD HAND
A 35-year-old Taipei man admitted to insurance fraud after police found out he'd had some friends chop off his left hand. At first, Huang Chun Ming told authorities he was mutilated by a teenaged gang. After the friends came forward, Ming admitted he had gambling debts of 20 million dollars.
MAKING HIMSELF AT HOME
Authorities in Bound Brook, New Jersey say a naked man broke into a house while a family slept. He donned some jeans, cooked himself some sausages and took a shower. The family confronted the intruder while he was locked in the bathroom, and he said he'd be out in a few minutes. Police took the perp into custody when he emerged from his shower.
HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU
A Saudi Arabian court enacted its eye-for-an-eye law against an Egyptian national accused of damaging the eye of another by dousing him with acid. The assailant had one of his eyes removed in a Medina hospital.
THIS IS NOT DISNEY WORLD
An 83-year-old Florida woman suffered only minor injuries after her car flipped over three times and plummeted from a 40-foot-high bridge into a swamp. The woman's car was suspended in trees just above the water for three days before a passerby took notice and called authorities. Tillie Tootie was working on a goodbye note when she was rescued.
LOOSE WITH ABUSE
A Bedford, Pennsylvania man was charged with criminal contempt for violating a court order to stay away from his estranged family. The restraint against Blaine Jeschonek had been issued because he'd been charged with setting fire to the mobile home occupied by his wife and daughter. The judge slapped him with the contempt charge because he had driven his wife to the court appearance.
RATTLESNAKE TALE I
The National Park Service fined a 26-year-old snake bite victim for abusing an endangered species and creating a public hazard. Witnesses said the New Jersey man taunted the 4-foot snake for 45 minutes ... then picked it up.
RATTLESNAKE TALE II
A 72-year-old New York man stepped out of his car to urinate when he was bitten by a timber rattlesnake. Authorties said that under the circumstances, they wouldn't charge Phillip Wheaton with beating the snake with his cane, despite the fact it's a protected rare species.
No one could find the time capsule at a high school reunion in Roseville, Minnesota. Items from the class of 1975 had been buried in a baby casket on the school grounds. An organizer said someone probably stole the capsule shortly after it was buried - it contained a bottle of champagne and some marijuana.
BELL, BOOK AND COAL
As a self-styled witch was supposedly ridding a central Mexico boy of evil spirits, seven people involved in the exorcism died of carbon monoxide poisoning. Authorities blamed burning coals used indoors.
Paramedics told a couple they were the proud parents of a baby boy after an emergency delivery at their home in Coventry, England. But 30 minutes later, the embarrassed crew said they'd made a mistake - the baby was a girl. The parents quickly switched the infant's name from Matthew to Emma Louise.
A burglary suspect left a perfect fingerprint behind after smashing through the window of a Colonie, New York computer store. The owner found a severed fingertip on the floor while cleaning up. Police nailed a suspect by running the print through state computers.
A court ordered a Norwich, England man to take nautical navigation lessons after the British coast guard rescued him eleven times. The 56-year-old had been attempting to navigate the Irish Sea with nothing more than an ordinary road map.
A hard-core Russian criminal who was a fugitive from justice was detained at the Ukrainian border after his disguise backfired. Officials say the suspect's fake ears fell off because he'd used cheap glue.
A gang of jailbreakers raided a Ugandan prison by cutting a fence and firing guns into the air. 128 inmates escaped, but they weren't the ones the marauders were trying to free - their hard-time colleagues were housed in another unit.
LEAVE THE DRIVING TO US
A 9-year-old boy walked into a Washington, D.C. Trailways yard, started a bus and drove off. The 4-foot-7-inch youngster crashed while trying to make a U-turn on an expressway with police in persuit. The boy's mother said he faced penalties at home even before the court system could deal with him.
A 74-year-old Vancouver, B.C. man noticed that a bank robber was armed only with a knife - so he bashed the crook in the head with a metal coin box during his escape. As police were summoned, the senior citizen recruited the driver of a passing car to help give chase. The dazed crook ran straight into the arms of the police.
HOW DRY I AM
L.A. Fitness found a way to make huge savings to its bottom line: require members to bring their own towels. The 75-gym chain said members were stealing over 800-thousand-dollars worth of towels each year.
DO THE CHICKEN DANCE
Someone smashed out the window of an Omaha man's car and stole a suit bag - probably hoping to score a freshly dry-cleaned business suit. But the bag contained a 7-year-old chicken costume which had been used for the mascot at Lancers hockey games. The crook left the chicken head behind.
A 30-year-old Harris County, Texas woman was arrested for causing injury to her 7-year-old daughter after her car drove off the road and ran into a sign and fence. Deputies said the woman lost control of her car while nursing her 8-month-old son. Luckily, the infant was uninjured in the crash.
COMPETING WITH CRACKER JACKS?
A bag of Magic Of Oz Popcorn came with an unexpected surprise in Sao Paulo, Brazil. The manufacturer was fined 34 hundred dollars after a housewife found a human finger in the package.
NOT SO GREAT
There's never a day off for a fugitive from justice. 31-year-old Warren Dixon was enjoying a day at a Queensbury, New York amusement park when he ran into 60 members of a police benevolent association. One of the officers recognized Dixon while they shared a park ride. The park's name? The Great Escape.
IT'S NOT EASY BEING NICE
Judges, state attorneys and other court personnel protested when a courthouse security guard was reassigned in Viera, Florida on the grounds that she was too nice. Petitioners told the press the transfer was made because the guard's superior was jealous of her popularity.
Some cyclists in the Sierra foothills of Fresno County, California found part of a human hand lying in the roadway. Deputies determined it had been left there after a motorcycle accident a few days earlier.
THE FUNERAL OF SLEEPY HOLLOW
A 43-year-old Celina, Ohio man allegedly sawed off the head of his uncle's corpse just hours before the funeral. Police said John Hawk had a history of eccentric behavior.
TONYA HARDING SYNDROME
Police in North Platte, Nebraska suspected that a sore loser was responsible for an assault on a blue-ribbon-winning pig at the Lincoln County Fair. The bruised champion was given painkillers by a vet and was expected to fully recover.
GET OUT YOUR BAMBI CRYING TOWEL
Buck the Deer was a town fixture in St. Georges, Delaware. Buck had been bottle-fed as a fawn and would wander about town stopping to let kids pet him. The state Department of Natural Resources officials didn't know Buck's history, and came to capture the deer after a shopkeeper complained. Buck resisted, so the agents cornered him and shot him dead.
A 13-year-old boy was in critical condition after a ceremonial circumcision went bad in a remote western village of Kenya. The tribal elder who accidentally lobbed off the boy's entire sex organ was severely beaten by the boy's friends and relatives.
A Waukesha, Wisconsin police officer caused a stink after taking a pot shot at a skunk with a high-powered pellet gun. The pellet ricocheted off a fence and injured a man who was walking his dog.
FAKE COP COPS PLEA
A circuit court judge in Virginia Beach figured public humiliation was the last resort for a man who was continuously arrested and convicted for impersonating a police officer. As part of a plea agreement, Bryon Fritz was ordered to march in front of the parole office wearing a sign reading, Warning: Do not violate your suspended sentence or parole or you may end up doing this.
MAYBE SHE'D HELP DOUSE THE FIRE
A tavern owner in Oxenhope, England was standing outside his burning pub waiting for firefighters to arrive. A woman pulled over in her car and asked Michael Rope if it was OK if she could go into the burning building and use the toilet. He refused for safety reasons.
NEXT TIME, TRY THE BEARD CLUB FOR MEN
A gunman disguised as a Hasidic Jew attempted to rob a Miami pawn shop. The owner grabbed his gun, which was empty. The perp escaped, despite a shotgun blast to his car by the shop's assistant. Manager Robert Glacum knew something was wrong because the suspect's hair and fake beard were a poor match.
Gerald Healy of Manchester, New Hampshire was charged with theft by deception after 29 people paid up to a thousand dollars each as a deposit on an apartment. Police said some of the victims were even staying in motels waiting for the apartment to be ready.
A fugitive accused of assaulting an officer during a jail break must have gotten tired of being on the run. Police in Danville, Virginia said the escapee was found hiding under a bed in a resident's home - snoring.
FIELD OF DRUG DREAMS
Dozens of teenagers descended on a 35-acre field in England after word got around there were thousands of marijuana plants for the taking. But the so-called pot turned out to be non-potent hemp, used to make the linings for BMW door panels.
A Michigan City, Indiana landlord was charged with criminal mischief for her method of protesting late rent and uncut grass. Police said she took a chainsaw to the wheelchair ramp used by the tenant's disabled son.
A man who made a fortune developing and selling meals for prisoners in Brazil got a taste of his own medicine. Jair Coelho got to eat the poorly-rated slop when he was jailed on alleged fraud and racketeering linked to his prison contracts. A prison official said Coelho was separated from the tough inmates who would have killed him for making such awful food.
40-year-old Dorothy Rushton was a Harley enthusiast who applauded when Florida passed its helmet-free law. She died of head injuries when she was thrown from her cycle ... while not wearing a helmet.
A 10-foot marlin seemed determined not to lose the battle as Jose Mayarita was reeling him in off the coast of Acapulco. The giant swordfish leapt out of the sea and ran its spear straight through Mayarita's abdomen.
CHANGE OF HEART
Someone who found a Washington state man's cash card in an ATM withdrew 250 dollars from his account. But records show that a couple of hours later, the thief re-deposited the 250 bucks. Jim Brummett said he figured that someone advised the perp that the ATM had taken his picture.
UNFURNISHED ROOM FOR RENT
People often walk off with articles from motel rooms: ashtrays, shampoo, maybe even towels and pillows. But police accused a Chippewa Falls man of extreme motel room theft. Prosectors said a search of the suspect's home turned up a TV, small refrigerator, mirror, microwave, hair dryer and several lamps.
A teenage couple were arrested after unsuccessfully attempting to rob a Johnson City, New York convenience store with a knife. The clerk chased them off with a large hammer.
A man who held up a clothes shop in East Berlin was told by the clerk that the store had no cash - all of the day's customers had paid with credit cards. So the perp made off with 188 dollars worth of underwear.
A San Francisco-area hitchhiker was arrested after allegedly restraining a driver for two minutes while sucking blood out of his neck. Police said Eric Knight told them he had a disease that left him unable to eat food.
A Martinsburg, West Virginia Seven-Eleven clerk wrestled a sawed-off shotgun from a robber and chased him off. Antonio Feliciano was fired - for not giving the crook the cash as required by company policy.
THEFT REQUIRES PROTEIN
There were cheese wrappers left at the scene of a burglary in Fayetteville, Arkansas. The victim fingered Anthony Robinson, who he'd just seen for the first time in three years. Police said the victim remembered that Robinson was always eating cheese.
A mountain biker was literally left hanging at Park City, Utah's Deer Valley Resort. Nick Newman caught the last ski lift of the day - but it stopped halfway up the mountain. Newman saw the lift operator get on his bike and pedal away. Newman tried to lower himself from the lift with a rope he'd made from his clothes, but it snapped. Even though he'd broken his legs and pelvis in the fall, he crawled another 600 feet to a service road, where his father drove up found him eight hours after the ordeal began.
Two mail-order workers for Omaha Steaks were credited with helping a stroke victim who'd called to redeem gift certificates. The man began slurring his speech halfway through the order, then became silent. The duo used caller I.D. and the internet to track the customer. An ambulance was sent to the home of a 76-year-old Arkansas man who was indeed treated for a stroke.
BUT CAN HE READ IT?
William Reynolds got a shocking letter from his local tax council in London. It read:
Your council benefit has been stopped because there has been a change in your circumstances. The change is because you are dead.
HOT, HOT, HOT
A severe heat wave in Turkey killed at least a dozen people - but it saved the life of a would-be suicide victim. While police pleaded with a despondant woman not to jump off a cliff, she fainted from the heat and fell safely on the edge of the cliff.
A Toledo policewoman was fired after walking the wrong beat. Officer Carol Ann Speaks, her husband and 19-year-old daughter were found guilty of providing sex for hire out of their home.
Stephen Biggers won a the Harley-Davidson of his dreams in an Indiana Lottery scratch card game. But the lottery office discovered Biggers owed 23 grand in unpaid child support. The cash value of the bike was forwarded to his ex-wife and kids.
JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE JUDGED
The Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct reprimanded a Houston judge for failing to act in a dignified manner and not maintaining courtroom decorum. District Judge H. Lon Harper was cited for repairing two single-action Colt revolvers on his bench while presiding over a murder trial. He was also admonished for distributing business cards for his private mediation business which illegally bore the state seal.
©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.