Law and Disorder®
Strange Stories From Real Police And Court Files

©1995-2008 Archer & Valerie Productions.



EYE SPY
Nine female students from the University of Colorado at Boulder filed a lawsuit against the school and two construction companies following the discovery of peepholes in a women's dormatory restroom. A construction worker admitted he used the peepholes to watch coeds in the shower.

MARYJANE MOMMY
A Klagenfurt, Austria woman was arrested after her 16-year-old son told police she'd been giving him marijuana since he was 12. The woman allegedly had her son smoke up to 10 joints of homegrown pot per day - and added cannabis to his tea. The woman told police she gave her son grass to keep him away from alcohol.

PLATFORM PERFORMANCE
A young couple were arrested at a Munich train station after their romantic goodbye got out of hand. The couple's farewell kiss progressed into the removal of their pants and lovemaking in front of startled commuters, who called police. Authorities said the temperature on the railway platform at the time was about 2 degrees below zero.

LIFE IMITATES A BRUCE COCKBURN SONG
An amnesty program in West Midlands, England - whereby citizens could turn in illegal weapons with no questions asked - turned up a surprising item: a tank-piercing, rocket-propelled grenade launcher. Authorities speculate the high-powered bazooka may have been a souvenir of the Persian Gulf War.

UNPLEASANT DREAMS
Police called in a suicide counselor after a man survived a fall from the third floor window of a hotel in Slavonski Brod, Croatia. After bouncing off an awning and suffering only a broken arm and scratches, Damir Miketek told authorities that he was not suicidal - he was a sleepwalker. Officers suggested he insist on first-floor hotel rooms in the future.

WHAT CHILD IS THIS?
The recipient of a hand-carved nativity scene in Rome, Italy told authorities the shipment he was expecting was "a unique artwork from South America" valued at over one million dollars. The customs officials who seized it agreed - the manger and all the figurines were carved out of bricks of pure cocaine.

SEXUAL HEALING
Police in Ann Arbor, Michigan said a patient at a children's hospital was investigated for soliciting a prostitute. Officials said an employee of C.S. Mott Children's hospital overheard the 15-year-old boy negotiating with the hooker on his bedside phone.

NOISE? WHAT NOISE?
A 90-year-old Spinetoli, Italy man was being kept prisoner by his 78-year-old twin brothers so they could collect his war pension. Police said that for 40 years, Pasquale Tavoletti had been locked in a tiny attic room in the family's posh eight-bedroom home.

RUNNING UP THE TAB
A suspected meth-producer from Marysville, Washington proved to be a flight risk when a judge set bail at 100 thousand dollars. Curtis Van Putten bolted from the courtroom. Officers recaptured Van Putten when he fell on a sidewalk outside the courthouse. The judge adjusted the bail - to 2 million dollars.

PEEK-A-BOO-BOO
A male high school student in Charleston, West Virginia was trying to take a peek into the girls' showers - but he got lodged in the wall between the shower and locker room. The principal said the boy got word to his father that he was stuck. His father broke him out with a sledgehammer.

TREATS!
A man accused of breaking into a butcher's shop Zwickau, Germany was given up to police by his dog. Officials claimed Kurt Schmidt was accompanied by Lumpy the Alsatian when he broke in to steal meat, but the dog was enjoying a feast of sausage when police responded to a silent alarm - and was ignoring his master's commands to leave the store.

THANKS FOR THE ALLOWANCE
Police in Cluj Napoca, Romania said an adult brother and sister were discovered to be sharing a bedroom that also contained the body of their dead father. Officials said their father had died three months earlier, but the duo wanted to continue cashing his pension checks.

LOTS OF PAIN - NO GAIN
A bank robbery suspect in Columbus, Ohio made the mistake of shoving his cash haul down his pants. Police said they found the alleged robber hobbling around in pain - after a dye pack exploded, injuring his groin.

CHECKING 'EM OUT
Three alleged counterfeit check-passers were tripped up in Quilpue, Chile when a security guard noticed the well-dressed trio may not have been as rich as they appeared. Information on the trio was sent to the police when the guard noticed one of the supposedly oppulent men had a rotting, black front tooth. Police said the descriptions matched those of a trio of check scammers and they dispatched officers to arrest them.

COORDINATE THIS
A man who worked as the DUI coordinator in a Georgia's Chatham County State Court resigned his post after he was busted - for drunken driving. Police said Brian Harrell's blood-alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit when he was pulled over for driving at night with his headlights turned off.

SEEDY SNIPERS
A man in Straubing, Germany called police to report that someone in his garden was firing a rifle at police officers in a nearby speed trap. Officers heard what sounded like shots when they arrived - but the shooting turned out to be seed pods popping on the gardener's wisteria plants.

GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME
A Bradenton, Florida man was killed on the way to his own wedding when his Dodge Viper slammed into - and sheared off - a large palm tree. Witnesses said the groom was driving over 100 miles per hour.

POLITENESS DIDN'T PAY
A polite robber at a Long Island restaurant helped his flustered victim pick up the money dropped while emptying the register. Restauranteer Ye Pin Sheek seized the opportunity when the crook put his gun down on the counter. Sheek took a potshot at the thief, who ran from the store, jumped in his car, and struck another car during his escape. The hit-and-run victim got the perp's license plate, and police arrested 56-year-old Ray Lerman. Police claimed Lerman had been clearly recorded on video tape during another robbery that week.

ROBBER GO HOME
Bryan Klein was easily recognized when he held up a Festus, Missouri bank. His wife was standing at the end of the line when he ordered everyone down on the floor. Marcia Klein refused to obey his orders and told him to go home. He complied. Police responding to a silent alarm bagged Klein on his way out the door.

NICE DOGGIE
Kinkade Armstrong was watching a Sudbury, Massachusetts Police K9 demonstration when he was suddenly jumped by one of the dogs in the show. Police arrested Armstrong for allegedly having a half-pound of cocaine strapped to his leg.

GIMME SOME SKIN
Mostafa Rooni was super-gluing a display case on the counter of his store when a crook came in and robbed him at gunpoint. While Rooni handed over the cash, the robber put his hand on the counter and squeezed superglue over himself, bonding his palm and two fingers to the counter. As the crook ripped himself away to escape, he left some flesh behind, including two "living" fingerprints ... enough, Seattle Police said, to identify and later arrest him.

OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT
A California politician bragged in a TV interview that crime was not a problem in his district. Just a few minutes after the broadcast, Hale McGee and his campaign manager were robbed by a pair of gunmen at an Ontario gas station.

JUSHH PASSHIN' THROUGHHH
A drunk driver with a 2.2 blood alcohol level was hitting parked cars along a major street in Fresno, California. When police gave chase, he pulled over and attempted to run from his car. Fortunately for authorities, he parked in front of a campus police station, where he ran into the arms of several cops who were watching the approaching persuit.

BAD BOY
A teenager who held up a Green Bay, Wisconsin liquor store was quickly located by police. As he ran from the store, he dropped a letter to his parents from school officials which explained he'd been suspended for defacing school property.

CROSSHAIRS
A man was escorted out of a Harrison, Arkansas hospital after witnesses reported he was loading a gun in his girlfriend's room. Security officials determined he was actually cleaning his girlfriend's hairbrush with a comb.

PIG PRINTS
Police in Hamburg, Germany had no trouble locating the suspect in a meat shop burglary. Officers found a trail of ham pieces leading from the butcher's broken window to the door of a nearby apartment.

FLYING HIGH
Officials in Pakistan said drug smugglers found a low-tech way around high-tech border security equipment. To avoid the death penalty for heroin importation, the traffickers took to using carrier pigeons.

BRINGING IT BACK
A car thief in Trondheim, Norway had a change of heart after police cruisers showed up on his tail. In a slow-speed chase, the perp drove the car back to where he'd stolen it - the parking garage at a police station.

LESSON UNLEARNED
A Hong Kong man was convicted of stealing the purse of a court official while he was on trial. Officials said Chan Kwak Keung ripped off the purse during a trial for purse-snatching ... at which he was acquitted.

CLIQUE TRICK
Seven Denver elementary school students were charged with trying to poison a girl they "didn't like." The 10- and 11-year-olds - two boys and five girls - allegedly spiked their victim's water and soda with lead, chalk, glue and pills.

SHE FORGOT WHY SHE CALLED
Police in Palm Springs, California found an estimated 100 thousand dollars worth of pot growing at a home from which a woman accidentally dialed 911. Officials said the woman called 911 and hung up on the dispatcher. When the dispatcher called back, the woman hung up again, so police were sent to check out the home.

DIGITAL CRIME
Police in Wood River, Illinois said a man literally fingered himself as a burglary suspect. Attempting to remove a safe, the perp dropped it on his hand. He left a glove containing part of a finger under the safe. A check of area hospitals turned up a suspect missing the exact part of the finger found at the crime scene.

GUILTY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
The Merced County, California auditor got a money order for $25 in the mail. An anonymous note said the money was to reimburse the county for something he or she stole from a county vehicle - in 1970.

DUH
A man wandered into a College Mart store in Washington State with a pair of boxer shorts over his head & demanded money. The clerk threatened to hit the alarm and the would-be robber ran away. But he left his gym bag behind. It no longer contained his boxer shorts, but it did contain his ID.

DUH II
A knife-wielding thief made off with cash in the armed robbery of a Johnny Quick store in Fresno, California. Police had no trouble identifying a suspect. He left his wallet on the counter, complete with drivers license and parole card.

DUH III
A man in Fargo, North Dakota was arrested for bank robbery after the teller noticed his robbery note was written on the back of his paycheck stub. The note furnished police with the perp's name and address.

DELIVERED BY TEMPTATION
A British man called the cellphone in his stolen car - and the thief answered. The car owner told the crook he'd won a sweepstakes. Police arrested the suspect when he tried to collect the phony prize.

HOW 'BOUT 10 PER CENT?
A man found an envelope containing financial papers on New York City's Wall Street. He traced the name on the documents to a CEO, who rewarded him with 250 bucks. The envelope contained 37-million dollars in negotiable bearer bonds.

WHAT A HAUL!
The van full of crooks who raided a London warehouse must have thought they were in Burglar Heaven. They hauled off 13 safes. But they failed to realize the safes were being stored there by a security company. All of them were empty.

DOPEY & DOPIER
A man who crashed an Ashland, Massachusetts party and offered to sell drugs didn't notice that the man he was dealing with was wearing a police academy t-shirt - or that there was a picture of the Framingham SWAT team on the fridge. When the suspect retrieved a friend from his car and produced a bag of psilocybin mushrooms, Ashland undercover officer Matt Gutwill said he'd rather have something stronger, like cocaine. One suspect made a phone call to friend who refused to deliver coke to Ashland because of a tough narc there named Gutwill. At that point, the chagrined pair were arrested by Gutwill on various drug charges.

LOOKOUT
A man who robbed churches in Baden-Wuerttemberg, Germany while his Alsatian Shepherd performed lookout duties was tripped up when he decided to burglarize his own church. Police said Wolfi the dog would bark out a warning if anyone approached a church while his 61-year-old owner was robbing it - but in this case, the dog knew the pastor and just wagged his tail.

I'M ALL YOURS
A Manila man threw his severed penis through the window of his estranged wife's parents' house, where the woman was staying. Police said the man yelled, "So you won't suspect I'm courting another girl!" - and limped away.

ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE
A Massachusetts man whose skis were stolen at a New Hampshire park went to the eBay web site to buy replacements - and found his own skis on sale. Investigators said two New England men had allegedly been stealing ski equipment and re-selling it on the auction site.

KISS OF METH
Vigo County, Indiana authorities have banned kisses at jailhouse weddings after a woman was caught passing a packet of meth to her new husband via mouth-to-mouth. Vivian Frazier was sentenced to two years for trafficking with inmate Jeremy Gunther. A guard saw a buldge in the groom's cheek after the kiss and when he investigated, Gunther swallowed the 2-ounce pack of meth - but it was later "retrieved" in the prison infirmary.

BANDIT & SON
A man robbed an Albuquerque store of 160 dollars - while holding a baby boy in a car seat. Police checked hotels in the area and found only one tenant with a baby registered. That led to the arrest of a suspect on robbery & child endangerment charges - much to the amazement of the suspect's wife.

ROADSIDE RAGE
Six cars parked in Munich's Nymphenburg district were heavily vandalized - damages included a torn-off bumper, ripped-off license plates and a mangled wheel well. Witnesses identified the vandals as two boxer-type dogs who appeared to go on the rampage without provocation. The perps high-tailed it before police arrived.

A BELLY FULL
Police said a man whose body was found cut open in Amsterdam had been running drugs into Holland. Investigators said the man had swallowed balloons filled with cocaine and probably died when one of them burst. Smugglers then cut open his stomach to retrieve the rest of the shipment.

NOT SHARP
Police in Mission, Texas identified a teenaged stabbing suspect when he returned the weapon for a refund. The knife was found in a returned-items cart at a Wal-Mart customer service window - along with a refund receipt signed by the suspect.

PUTTING OUT A FEELER
Police said Christopher Briley of New Iberia, Louisiana never got aggressive with his victims, but they charged him with assault anyway. Authorities claimed Briley was the area's notorious "Foot Feeler" - who'd been reported several times for massaging women's feet without permission.

HIGH PROFILE
Two suspects in a jewelry store robbery were arrested in a Santiago, Chile bar after police officers spotted them counting an enormous amount of cash at a table - while expensive jewelry dangled from their pockets.

EVEN TOO YOUNG FOR A REEFER BAR
An Amsterdam nursery was closed down after a baby was found to be chewing on an unopened packet of heroin. An attendant told police that she noticed the baby teething on the small plastic bag during a diaper change.

TRANSFORMER
A Vero Beach, Florida woman was arrested in a K-Mart restroom where she allegedly had tried to disguise herself with hair dye and clothing stolen from the store shelves. Police claimed 28-year-old Melissa Anne Nunziato was fleeing from the scene of a fender-bender in the store parking lot.

KEEP ON TRUCKIN'
A man following an ambulance containing his son repaired the vehicle when it broke down on the way to a hospital in West Yorkshire, England. Chris Wilkinson - who had resuscitated his 2-year-old son after the toddler fell off a bed - used his skills as a mechanic to repair the ambulance's accelerator cable. They continued to the hospital, where the boy was treated and released.

WHAT A WAY TO GET AWAY
Police in Missouri said a 24-year-old man stole and abandoned at least six vehicles while fleeing from police along a path from Hannibal to Ralls County. The suspect was charged with violating conditions of probation - from a car theft conviction.

QUIET, CLASS!
A substitute teacher in Lawrence, Massachusetts was fired after officials found she'd been keeping her students quiet with an unusual method. A school secretary discovered the teacher had put masking tape over the mouths of 21 of her students.

RECESS
A Harlem public school principal who hadn't shown up for work was charged with drunk driving and resisting arrest in another New York City borrough. Police said they found the 41-year-old woman squatting and urinating next to her Mercedes-Benz while stopped at a red light in the Bronx.

PHOTO-FINISH
Two wanted robbers were arrested and convicted after a Rome shopkeeper took a digital picture of them with his cellphone and forwarded it to police. The tobacconist thought the men outside his shop were acting suspiciously. Police recognized them as fugitives and dispatched a cruiser to pick them up.

A FRIEND TO THE END?
A 74-year-old wheelchair-bound man in Buffalo, New York was charged with killing a 46-year-old woman - because she refused to peel a turnip for him. Police said the two were long-time friends.

LIBERATION LAG
Pratap Nayak spent six years in prison in Orissa, India for a crime he didn't commit. But when officials declared him innocent and free in 1994, no one told Nayak. His lawyer had died. Nayak spent over eight more years in jail before officials discovered the mistake and freed him.

IF YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE
An employee opening a Fort Worth, Texas bedding shop noticed someone had left a handgun in the rest room. She summoned the police, who found a robbery suspect sleeping - and snoring - on a display bed. The sleepy perp wasn't aware that the shop was owned by the wife of the county D.A.

CONTROLLED BURN
Three snowmobilers who became stranded in deep snow in rough country near Fairbanks, Alaska used their resources to fight off the 20-degree-below-zero chill. They burned two of their their snowmobiles to keep warm overnight. The third snowmobile was set ablaze to attract their rescuers.

CATCHING TIGER
"We think she's a ninja." That was the comment from an NYPD detective lieutenant regarding a woman who had a knife thrown at her by a man who robbed her deli. Rosa de la Cruz managed to catch the knife in midair, just inches from her face. The astonished suspect was arrested outside the store.

I'LL SHOW YA!
A Camden, New Jersey man told a state trooper not to tow an unregistered car because he knew the owner. The man led the trooper to his friend's house, where the officer found a 100-square-foot hydroponic marijuana garden. Both men were charged with possession with intent to distribute.

©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.