Law and Disorder®
Strange Stories From Real Police And Court Files

©1995-2008 Archer & Valerie Productions.



GRIN & BEAR IT
Two transportation officers were held captive by a thousand-pound bear that wandered onto police station grounds in Vitebsk, Russia. The hungry bear trapped them in their patrol car for over an hour, then sauntered into the stationhouse and gobbled up the food they'd brought for lunch. After eating, the bear disappeared back into the woods.

NAP YAPPER
A North Fort Meyers, Florida woman vows she'll never yell at her chihuahua for barking again. The dog - named Sassy - alerted Monica Hayes to a raging fire in her mobile home. Hayes lost everything she owned, but escaped with her life thanks to Sassy awakening her from a deep sleep.

CUTTING CRIME
A man who attempted to break into a Fremont, California apartment was found dead on the balcony. Police said Obadiah Videau bled to death after severing an artery while breaking glass in the apartment window.

SOFT SPOT
Weiss Jewelers of Munich, Germany seemed to have an invincible security system: metal grilles, break-proof glass and a high-tech laser alarm system. But thieves discovered that the roof over the store's protruding display window was nothing more than pressboard. They sawed through it and made off with over a million dollars worth of merchandise.

THE WHOLE TRUTH
A school bus driver in Dublin, Georgia told police he always tells the truth. So when he reported a robbery at his home he gave police an honest list of the stolen items: 30 dollars, a gun and four bags of marijuana.

WINDOW SHOPPING
28-year-old Huia Qing brought her North Carolina driver's test to an abrupt end when her examiner asked her to park in front of a store. Qing parked inside the store instead, crashing through the front window. Qing failed the test.

FOLLOW THE LIGHT
French police had no problem spotting a truck which was hauling a stolen safe over the border from Belgium in the dead of night. The safe's castors had broken off, leaving a tell-tale shower of sparks that were visible for miles.

ARE THERE STATS ON THE BACK?
An Amarillo, Texas boy got an unexpected eyeful when he opened a pack of football cards purchased at the local Toys R Us. One card had a picture of a nude woman. Toys R Us and the card maker can't explain how the card got in the package.

GIVE ME BEER OR GIVE ME JAIL
Two West Virginia prisoners broke out of jail and thought they'd celebrate with a 6-pack of beer. Unfortunately, they weren't carrying IDs and were refused service...so the duo walked back to jail and turned themselves in.

RECALLING A CROOK
An upstate New York furniture store put an ad in the paper announcing the recall of a brass lamp, saying it could burst into flames. The next day, police arrested a man who was attempting to return the only lamp the store had stocked ... which had been stolen.

MEN IN BLUE INTO BLUE TV?
A Layton, Utah man says narcotics agents used his Direct TV to watch X-rated flicks during a drug raid on his house. Jim Passarelli says he can prove the narcs ordered the films - Passarelli was in jail at the time.

BOY TOY
A spectator in an Oklahoma City court got two days in jail for his unique way of dealing with the nervouness that accompanied his quitting smoking. The man distracted Judge Nancy Coats by playing with his yo-yo.

FINISH LINE
A Brookhaven, New York man was charged with driving while impaired by drugs, driving while intoxicated, resisting arrest, criminal possession of a controlled substance, obstructing justice, unlicensed operation of a vehicle, driving to endanger and driving with a suspended registration - all from one incident. The pickup truck driver allegedly told police he led them on a chase because he wanted to finish smoking the crack in his vehicle. The chase ended when the suspect unknowingly sped into into a walled-in police station parking lot.

ALL-ABOARD BASH
The conductors on a train making a 32-hundred-mile journey across Russia and Siberia invented a game to fight boredom - smashing their heads against a train window to see who had the strongest forehead. The train had to make an unscheduled stop - so the men could be treated at a hospital for concussions.

AN F IN ANDROGYNY
A 22-year-old Andhra Pradesh, India man was charged with fraud after taking his 12-year-old sister's college entrance exam. Police said Dasari Suresh showed up for the test wearing a dress and a wig.

FUNNY MONEY
A Graz, Austria man was caught trying to pass a counterfeit 500-euro note - which was an obvious photocopy and blank on one side. The manager of a sauna told a court the fake note was laughable.

SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE SOUND
The boat that bashed into a Seattle dock then sped away wasn't hard to find. Authorities found a life preserver with the boat's name & license number wedged into the damaged portion of dock.

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?
It was love at first sight when 15-year-old Jennifer Coxwell saw a German Shepherd in a New York City pet store window. The dog loved her, too. After oohing and awwing over the dog, Coxwell continued down the block when she heard the crash of glass behind her. The dog had bolted through the window to go play with his new friend. The pet shop owner let Coxwell have the pooch for the price of fixing the window - less than half his asking price for the dog.

LET THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTER BY
A 45-year-old researcher let a rare butterfly get the best of him. Caught up in the rapture of chasing an extremely scarce breed, he ran straight off a 180-foot cliff near Acapulco, Mexico. Officials say the scientist - who died - had previously suffered several other injuries persuing butterflies.

SNAPPED, CRACKLED & POPPED
An accused burglar in Yachats, Oregon was a big breakfast fan. Police said that in three break-ins, he sat down at his victim's kitchen table and ate a bowl of cereal. But on his fourth strike, he was out. The owner of the house had powdered white rodent poison in a bowl on his counter, which the alleged crook assumed was sugar. Thomas Greely was arrested on burglary charges at the local emergency medical clinic.

TOP COP'S GUN GOES POP
Madison, Wisconsin Chief Richard Williams used to hide one of his guns in his kitchen stove - until he blew holes through a wall when he preheated the oven for dinner. Chief Williams gave himself a day of unpaid suspension for violating his department's firearms policy.

BETRAYED BY A KISS
A fugitive from justice was recaptured after his parole officer saw him kissing his girlfriend on a jumbo TV screen at Great American Ball park in Cincinnati. David Horton, who failed to appear in court on cocaine charges, was given up by the park's "Kiss Cam."

ROAD HOG
A warthog drove off with the Potawatomi Zoo's van in South Bend, Indiana - and crashed it. Zoo officials said Mondo the warthog woke up from a sedated state and managed to put the van into gear and crash it into a fence. Mondo was treated for some minor cuts after jumping through the broken drivers' side window.

OFF THE SCALE
A Krommenie, The Netherlands man had so much to drink before driving that he broke a traffic officer's breathalyzer machine. The man was taken into custody and a police doctor conducted a blood test - revealing the man had consumed seven times the legal limit of alcohol.

PAIN IN THE BUTT
Meow Mix CEO Richard Thompson was still finding it painful to sit down as he launched "Meow TV," a tongue-in-cheek program for cats on the Oxygen cable network. Thompson had been bitten on the butt by a rottweiler while walking on Manhattan's Upper East Side just a few days before the launch. In his police report, Thompson joked that the rottie might have thought his company was conspiring against dogs.

LIFE IMITATES CARTOONS
A motorist in Orem, Utah swerved to avoid hitting what he thought was a dog - but it turned out to be an 11-month-old baby boy that was crawling across a four-lane street at 3 AM. Later in the day, police found out the boy had wandered unnoticed out the unlatched screen door of his grandmother's home.

CRUEL & UNUSUAL
A Russian Army commander was given a two-year suspended sentence, stripped of his rank and removed from his post for beating his junior officers. One of the victims - who deserted because of the abuse - revealed in a court martial that Captain Damir Ilyasov was striking his men with a giant leather dildo.

DIRECTIONS TO JAIL
A man accused of robbing a Florence, Oregon bank gave up his escape plans when he asked the son of the branch manager for directions to the local bus station. Police said that after the man had fled with the cash, he approached Jered Torgison on the street, saying he had to get out of town in a hurry. Torgison - who knew about the holdup and the perp's description - phoned authorities, who picked up the suspect on his way to the station.

AIRSICK
A Croatian MiG fighter jet had to be taken out of service for a week after a journalist did a ride-along to research a newspaper article. Officials said the reporter barfed during the 625-mile-per-hour flight, damaging some sensitive electronic equipment.

OF COURSE, OF COURSE
Two police officers conducting a speed trap caught some horse rustlers in the act in Giardinelle di Matera, Italy. The cops noticed a pony's head sticking out of the hatchback window of a passing Fiat.

HARD HEAD
"I saw the trigger being pulled and the gun powder coming out of the gun." So said a Rio de Janeiro detective who was shot in the head point blank - but received no serious injuries. Officials said the bullet was trapped between the skin on his forehead and his undamaged skull.

OVERPOPULATION
Service Corporation International of Houston - the parent company of the world's largest funeral services chain - was charged with felony fraud after allegedly digging up two graves to make room for new clients in an overcrowded south Florida cemetery. Investigators found the dug-up corpses dumped in woods near the graveyard.

GIMME TWENTY
A Pensacola, Florida police officer resigned after a department investigation determined that he ordered a teenage girl and her boyfriend do topless jumping jacks. The alleged incident took place after officer Patrick Shields found the couple making out in a car.

THAT'S VERY BIGAMY
A 58-year-old Alexandria, Egypt man was sentenced to six years hard labor for enticing 23 poverty-stricken teenaged girls to marry him. The limit for wives under Islamic law is four.

DIRTY HABITS
A raid on a high-class brothel in Verona, Italy turned up records of a diverse clientele, ranging from students to housewives - including a prominent priest who wanted his prostitutes to dress up as nuns.

BLADE BUST
An armed car thief who was fleeing on foot from Monrovia, California police ran into a house - but was chased back outside by a resident wielding a Samurai sword. The homeowner disarmed the perp and was holding him at swordpoint when officers caught up.

GATECRASHER
A man who was kidnapped at knifepoint in his car in downtown Santiago, Chile feared the two drug-crazed perps would kill him - so he hit the accelerator and drove his car through the gates of a police station. He jumped out of his car, screamed for help and officers arrested the suspects.

ROUNDABOUT
An alleged bank robber in Knoxville, Tennessee got lost during his getaway. 45 minutes after the robbery, police found the suspect circling the parking lot behind the bank. They recovered the stolen money from his car.

SUGAR RUSH
A Chicago man was charged with murdering a Dunkin' Donuts employee because his coffee was too sweet. Police said Alfredo Netal shot the worker three times.

CUT ME LOOSE
An Aspen, Colorado man cut off his own arm four days after it was pinned under a half-ton boulder in a park in Utah. 27-year-old Aron Ralston - an experienced hiker - took the action after his water supply ran out and it became apparent rescuers would not find him under the giant rock. After conducting the amputation with a pocket knife, Ralston rappelled down a 55-foot rock wall and walked four miles before finding other hikers to help him.

CLEAN SCENE
Police in Mandeville, Louisiana were looking for a suspect who literally made a clean getaway after a residential break-in. The suspect took some strawberries that had been left on the doorstep, cleaned them and left them on the kitchen table. He or she also took a shower, changed into the resident's clothes and left 10 dollars on a bedroom dressing table.

TEETH IN?
Officials said teeth stolen from fresh corpses in graveyards were sold to dentistry labs in Paraguay for the use in manufacturing dentures. The dentists thought they were purchasing laboratory-made teeth.

TEETH OUT?
A 70-year-old man and his 59-year-old girlfriend were arrested for public indecency after performing a sex act in the booth at a Hardee's Restaurant in New Philadelphia, Ohio. Police had received previous reports of lewd activity by the pair inside the restaurant and in its parking lot, but the couple had left by the time officers arrived.

J-BIRD JAILBIRD
An 18-year-old defendant in a traffic case was arrested in the courtroom after he removed his hat for the judge. Court officials in Carlsbad, New Mexico said a joint fell out of the hat in plain view of the judge.

KIDS THESE DAYS
A 4-foot-tall 7-year-old boy was arrested after allegedly trying to hold up a video store in Annapolis, Maryland. Police responded to a silent alarm and subdued the suspect, determining his gun was a fake. Police said when the boy was interviewed by skeptical detectives, he insisted he was trying to rob the store.

KIDS THESE DAYS II
Owners of a house in Chateauroux, France came home to find that all their drawers were ransacked, containers of food and toiletries were emptied out all over the floor and all the walls had been scribbled on. Detectives determined that the vandals were the 4-year-old twins who lived next door, who'd gained access through an open window.

KIDS THESE DAYS III
A 45-year-old North Port, Florida woman was charged with stabbing her teenager in the butt because he wouldn't get out of bed and get ready for work. The woman claimed she just picked up some items from her son's dresser and threw them at him, but her son claims he was stabbed by a 12-inch knife that was part of a display of weapons on his bedroom wall.

DESIGNATED FOLLOW-THE-LEADER
Police in Annapolis pulled over four cars traveling down a busy street in the wrong direction. From the first car, the driver was charged with drunk driving. His wife was following in the second car, and was found to be drunk as well. The third and fourth cars were just following the first two, so police let them go.

HOW'S MY DRIVING?
After their daughter collected two speeding tickets, the Kovacs of St. Joseph, Missouri have found a way to stop the problem. They placed a bumper sticker on her car which read, "If I'm speeding, call my parents," and included their phone number.

SOCK IT TO ME
A Springfield, Illinois mother called police when her daughter came home with no socks. It seems a local man had been offering teenage girls 100-dollar bills for their used socks. Police said no charges would be filed because it's not a crime to be weird.

INDIRECT DEPOSIT
A former IRS service rep was arrested for trying to collect over 100 grand in taxes by filing tax returns in the names of dead people. IRS agents said red flags went up when a computer noticed multiple direct deposits to the same bank account.

OOPS
Indian businessman Satya Ganguly said his prayers freed him from a band of kidnappers who abducted him during his daily walk. But the kidnappers said they let Ganguly go after six days because they realized they'd kidnapped the wrong executive.

CHIEF TREE-FELLER
Greenfield, Massachusetts Police Chief David McCarthy cannot tell a lie - he ordered the tree outside the police station chopped down. Chief McCarthy wrote a 100-dollar check to City Hall for not obtaining a permit. McCarthy said he had no idea the town would need a town permit to take down a town tree on town property.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY
The night manager of a Burger King in Novato, California was arrested for dealing cocaine from the restaurant's drive-through window. Stakeout police said many of his customers actually bought burgers and drinks, too. Nine ounces of cocaine were found in the restaurant's safe.

©1995-2006 Archer & Valerie Productions.