Law and DisorderŪ
Strange Stories From Real Police And Court Files

©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.



CAUGHT WITH THEIR GUARDS DOWN
It was quite an embarrassment when authorities at an Auckland, New Zealand prison allowed an inmate's husband to visit her. They found out the visitor had escaped from another prison. Even more embarrassing was the fact that the escapee remained on the loose after being discovered ... by outrunning several prison guards.

BUGGED BY Y2K
The SEC fined mutual fund broker Ralph Hinzman 5-thousand dollars for failing to answer a survey on whether his company is Y2K compliant. The 87-year-old West Virginia broker didn't answer the survey because he doesn't use computers.

SMELLS FAMILIAR
A cow that escaped when a trailer crashed on an Atlanta freeway saw the future. The cow scampered up an exit ramp where police found it looking into the window of a hamburger restaurant.

WHEN THE CRIME SCENE BECOMES THE JAIL
An 83-year-old Pennsauken, New Jersey woman saw a man break into her detached garage. She decided that if he wanted to be in there so badly, he could stay. She used her remote control to lock the crook inside until police arrived. Neptune Steele was charged in connection with a series of burglaries.

YOU'RE BUSTED AND I'M NOT
Some bank robbers in Calgary were being chased by police and tried to duck into a suburban neighborhood. Unfortunately, they took a quick turn and broadsided a police van - a prop on a location movie set where a Chevy Chase film was being made.

SCORE ONE FOR SCORES
Neighbors of a strip club in Salem, Oregon thought for sure the club would fail when the state liquor commission pulled its license to sell beer. But the bar - Scores - found a loophole. It's serving two free beers to every visitor of legal age. Business has never been better.

DUMB LUCK
A Big Apple clothing store burglar tried, convicted and sentenced himself to death while entering the store. Police say Terrence Adams caught his sweater on a piece of metal while lowering himself through an opening in the roof and hanged himself to death. The name of the store? The Dum Dum Boutique!

WHAT, NO LEARNER'S PERMIT?
Parents usually get nervous when their kids get behind the wheel for the first time. But a San Jose couple weren't expecting it from their 4-year-old, until she drove the car directly from their driveway into their living room. Her stepdad, Nick Muņoz, says he's asked his daughter how she did it, but she's not talking.

MAKE MY DAY
Never pull a water pistol on a handgun collector. When police arrived at a grocery store robbery in Hanover, Virginia, they found the 19-year-old suspect being held at gunpoint by the store's owner. The grocer had recognized the crook's gun as a fake, and countered with a real .45-caliber semiautomatic.

TOTAL RECALL
Seattle Police Detective Mike Magan's photographic memory has paid off again. Magan bumped into a man on a sidewalk, and apologized. As the man walked away, Magan recalled a wanted poster he'd seen two years before, and shouted, "Hey, Matthew!" The man turned around and Magan arrested him on bank robbery charges. It was his 86th robbery suspect arrest in 3 years.

HE SHOULD HAVE USED 1-800-COLLECT
Police in Sao Paulo, Brazil were alerted to an unusual bank transaction when the phone company tried to make an electronic withdrawal from a customer's account. The phone company accidentally charged the man 43-million dollars for a month's telephone service.

PRECIOUS CARGO
A motorist flagged down Lincoln Tafoya's pickup truck on a freeway 20 miles north of Santa Fe. It seems his 3-year-old daughter was hanging on to the back of the truck by the license plate. The little girl says her adventure was kind of fun, until the truck started speeding on the freeway.

JUSTICE GOES TO THE DOGS
A San Francisco police sergeant has become the Judge Judy of the canine population. William Herndon loves dogs, so he volunteers his time arbitrating cases in which residents have bones to pick with the actions of dogs. And unlike a people's court, dogs don't have to face their accusers.

SQUATTERS
When a real estate agent wanted to show off a 175-thousand-dollar home in Broomfield, Colorado, he found that a couple and their two dogs had already moved in. All the utilities were hooked up, and the house was full of furniture. When Kristopher Ward answered the door in his bathrobe, he said they'd been living there for 20 days and wanted to buy the home. He and his wife were charged with trespassing.

WE'RE BAAAACK
13 stolen garden gnomes have mysteriously reappeared at a home in Frankfurt, Germany. The little guys found their way back, after a 75-year-old widow tearfully told a local TV show that her recently-deceased husband had collected the gnomes and their disappearance had broken her heart.

EVEN BEANO WOULDN'T HAVE HELPED
Maybe he was stocking up on food out of fear of the Y2K bug. Whatever the reason, a Berryville, Arkansas man learned a lesson in physics - beans and rice packed with dry ice in air-tight plastic tubes will explode. One of Steve Tate's containers damaged his garage and blew a hole through his roof. Tate told police he had planned to bury the containers under his remote cabin.

CALLING CARD
A 22-year-old Hong Kong man robbed a taxi driver of his cellphone and over 400-bucks in cash. But he's in jail now, because he left his own cellphone in the cab, giving detectives his home phone number and address. No line-up was needed to identify the crook - the phone had his picture on it.

GIMME A HAND, WILL YA?
It was an armored truck. What appeared to be money bags were stored in the back. So some crooks on the south side of Chicago were amazed to find the doors of the vehicle unlocked while the driver took a lunch break at a diner. Willie Signauer returned to his armored vehicle to find his cargo had disappeared - four vinyl sacks of amputated and extracted body parts that were headed for a medical waste facility.

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH & INFAMOUS
They called him Lotto Lothar. The unemployed Bonn, Germany man became a media celebrity after winning 2.2-million dollars in the state lottery. Unfortunately, he was blotto Lothar, and used the money to drink himself to death.

TAKING A TURN FOR THE WORSE
A Winsted, Connecticut teenager's driver exam was more like a crash test. After completing a successful demonstration of his driving skills, he turned left across oncoming traffic pulling back into the DMV ... crashing his dad's Chevy into a Subaru. He didn't get his license, but he did get an official document - a ticket for failure to yield and making an improper turn.

DOGGONE FOR 4 YEARS
Marie Bennett's chocolate labrador had been dognapped from her yard in California four years before she heard about the fate of her pet. San Diego's animal control office called say her dog named Bear had been found - wandering around in northern Michigan. Northwest Airlines waived shipping costs so Marie and Bear could have a happy reunion.

TAUGHT TO THE TUNE OF A HICKORY STICK
An 83-year-old retired school teacher from New Haven wasn't about to be mugged. After a man grabbed her purse she punched and slapped the crook until he bled. The thief made off with the pocketbook, but gave up on his attempt to take the woman's car, too, when she whipped him with her cane.

IS THIS RICCOTA?
A suburban Chicago short-order cook has been arrested after trying to settle an on-going fight through the food served in his employer's restaurant. Bryan Chase was charged with violating health ordinances and assault, after baking an order of maggot-filled ravioli for a dinner ordered by Roland Sears, with whom the cook has been fighting for the past year.

SEE THE MAN ABOUT A HORSE
Police in Pascoag, Rhode Island easily located the intoxicated suspect who broke into a diner and cooked himself a full course meal. Ferdinand Badola was arrested after he was found passed out while sitting on the rest room toilet.

I BACKED INTO HIM TRYING TO GET INTO A BETTER CELL
It's a problem everyone talks about, but a Cleveland suburb has taken some action. Brooklyn, Ohio has passed a city ordinance banning the use of cell phones while driving, unless the motorist can keep both hands on the wheel while chatting.

FIRST & LAST
One of the two bandits cleaning out cash registers at a gas station in Beaverton, Oregon should have kept his mouth shut. One time he called his accomplice Stan. Another time he called him Burger. That's all the information the blindfolded cashier was able to gather, but police had no trouble tracking down Stanley Burger at a nearby apartment house, where they charged him with the crime.

REALITY CHECK
The TV series The Real World has been introduced to the real world of crime. While the show was taping in Honolulu, a man sneaked into the beach house set and stole a cast member's datebook. The always-rolling hidden cameras captured the crook on tape, but police caught him without much high-tech help. They just followed his footprints in the sand to a nearby cottage.

SHOOTING CARS
Police in Yonkers, New York were skeptical when a man called 911 and complained someone had disabled his car with a bazooka. When police arrived, they noticed an 8-inch diameter hole through the back window, back seat and floorboard. But all the window glass was on the outside of the car. The driver soon learned that his drive shaft had fallen off, was forced up through the floor of the car, and was ejected through his back window.

THE LORD SMITES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS
A thief in Nairobi, Kenya sat in a back pew during a church service. When the collection plate was passed to him, he stuffed all the money into his pockets and ran from the church and into the street ... where he was hit and killed by a bus.

PUGNACIOUS PECKER PICKS ON POSTMAN
A postal carrier won't deliver mail to the Welsh village of Wiseman's Bridge. A Royal Mail spokesman says a carrier is not required to deliver mail if a dangerous animal has attacked the carrier on his route. In this case, the the dangerous animal is ... a pheasant.

TEENAGERS GET THE SCOOP
Teenagers in Detroit caught smoking or drinking have a new way to avoid facing charges. But they still wind up the doghouse - for 16 hours of cleaning the kennels at the local pound.

CLOCKWORK ORANGE
Unplug that subwoofer. If you violate the city's noise ordinance in Fort Lupton, Colorado, you're sentenced to listening to music you don't like! And if you laugh while court officers play selections like the theme from Barney The Dinosaur, you'll be cited for contempt.

AHHHHHHHH, TRIPLE E!
A 43-year-old truck driver has been sentenced to jail in Singapore for stealing shoes. He didn't steal them to sell ... he stole them to smell. His lawyer said Zainal Esa was addicted to shoe odor.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Despite the fact she's severely emphysemic and blind in one eye, a 67-year-old Orlando woman shot and critically wounded her daughter. She overheard her daughter and boyfriend talking about placing her in a rest home.

FINGERED I.D.
A 25-year-old El Monte, California man arrested on abuse charges didn't want police to figure out his identity. While in the holding tank, he chewed off his fingertips, hoping to foil the fingerprinting process. But officers were able to get a set of usable prints from the desk where he was booked. They found out his real name - and his nine aliases.

A WALLBOARD INVESTMENT
A construction worker in Massachusetts found Erwin Magoon's wallet after it had been lost 52 years. It had been trapped in a bathroom wall at Montague High School. Inside the tattered wallet was a silver quarter - which is now worth 100-dollars.

DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
A Monarch Airlines pilot refused to fly 400 passengers from Orlando to London, but no one complained. Captain Terry Baverstock was miffed that the caterer didn't show up with meals for the long transatlantic flight. He left the plane, went to an all-night McDonalds, and brought back enough Big Macs, McChickens and Veggie Burgers to feed all his passengers.

I LOVE YOU, YOU HATE ME...
A Minneapolis woman was charged with felony damage to property after destroying 4-thousand dollars worth of merchandise at two Target stores. Security tapes show the woman taking a razor knife from her purse and slashing dozens of Barney The Dinosaur dolls.

A SHARP OBJECTION TO BANKING PRACTICES
Money's a little tight in Russia. A former army colonel took a teller hostage at knifepoint in a Moscow bank. He was demanding money ... from his own account.

WAS HE HANGING UP HIS PERMIT?
Police investigating a shooting in Bordeaux, France couldn't help laughing at the victim. Responding to calls about a gunshot in an apartment, they found the man had shot himself in the abdomen while driving a nail into a wall with his loaded gun.

SHE DON'T KNOW JACK
When an elderly woman returned from shopping and saw four fresh-faced punks sitting in her car, she dropped her grocery bags and produced a handgun. The quartet ran off as she loaded the grocery bags into the car and put her key in the ignition ... only to discover it wasn't her car. She located her identical vehicle several parking spaces away and drove to the police station to explain what she'd done. The desk sergeant cracked up laughing and pointed to four young men at the other end of the counter who said their car was jacked by a crazed old woman. ---COURTESY OF SUE ROSS

WHO'S WHO?
An open-casket funeral in Copenhagen came to an abrupt halt when relatives noticed the woman in the coffin was not the person they'd come to eulogize. A funeral home had switched two bodies of women in their 70s. The correct woman had to be dug up from a prior closed-casket service. The funeral parlor waved its fee.

MILLER TIME
It's tough robbing banks. You build up such a thirst. An Oshawa, Ontario bank manager noticed that a bandit that had just robbed his bank slipped into a tavern down the street. Police recovered the money and arrested the suspect as he sat at the bar enjoying a beer.

LETTER OF INTRODUCTION
A Manchester, England man handed a bank clerk a note saying he had a gun and he wanted money. But Andrew Buckland's note was written on a letter which bore his name and address. The clerk asked Buckland to sit and wait - so he did ... until police arrived and arrested him. He was sentenced to life because it was his second conviction for a major crime.

BON APPETIT
A Maltese man faces life in prison for impersonating a food critic. Police say Francis Buhagair shot & killed his sister because she burned his breakfast toast.

BANG! YOU'RE BUSTED!
An Oakland, California road-rager picked the wrong guy when he extended his hands like he was clasping a gun and yelled "bang!" The driver produced a real gun and a Secret Service ID.   Norbert Chu was charged with making a terrorist threat to an agent assigned to the vice president's security detail.

THAT THIRD EYE WAS DELICIOUS
With TV cameras rolling, Greenpeace activists delivered what they called a toxic lunch to the Louisiana Governor's office. The cooked fish had been taken from a polluted bayou near a petrochemicals plant where warning signs had been posted not to eat what you catch. Greenpeace was making a statement, but the Governor's press secretary made a bigger one - she took a plastic fork out of her pocket and ate the fish.

STUPIDITY HERTZ
FBI agents in Independence, Missouri closed the books quickly on two bank robberies. The crook had rented his getaway car ... under his own name.

BUT CAN THEY REFOLD THEM?
You may not know where Oconomowoc Lake, Wisconsin is. But inmates at five Wisconsin prisons know. They're putting stickers on 2-million state maps on which Oconomowoc Lake was deleted by a computer glitch.

SLEEPLESS IN FORT WORTH
A police computer took it upon itself to call 13-hundred residents in Fort Worth ... starting at 3 in the morning. The computer - which was inviting residents to a police community forum - was disabled after 400 people jammed the 911 system with complaints.

ORDER IN THE COURT
A judge in a Manhattan criminal court had repeatedly warned people to stop making noise. Then William Brown's pager went off. Judge Paul Feinman ordered Brown to be handcuffed to a chair in a corner for 90 minutes.

DO UNTO OTHERS...
Prosecutors say a Sterling, Virginia minister isn't practicing what he preaches when it comes to marriage counseling. Reverend James Ogle has been charged with offering to kill a parishoner's wife in exchange for the parishoner killing his.

A TYSON WANNABE
Police have charged a Janesville, Wisconsin woman with biting off the end of her husband's tongue when they were kissing to make up after an argument. Geraldine Van Zandt claimed her husband bit his own tongue, but investigators charged her with mayhem when they noticed the bite mark was curved inward.

PICTURE THIS
Some gangsta-kids in L.A. thought it'd be cool to video tape their robbery of a pawn shop. But they should have done it with a stolen camcorder. When police responded to a silent alarm, they ran off, leaving the camera at the store. Detectives tracked down the punks using the camcorder's serial number and warranty registration.

OH NO YOU DON'T!
A man jerked the purse away from a woman in a Rochelle Park, New Jersey supermarket lot and ran to a waiting car. But the victim ran up to the car and bent the windshield wiper, yelling for the crook to give back her purse. The woman wouldn't unblock the path of the car until the crook gave up and tossed her handbag out the window.

HE MUSN'T HAVE CHECKED HIS WRIST WATCH
A 21-year-old French man's moped was destroyed when he was knocked off it in an auto accident. He got a lift to his home in Gap from a passing motorist. When his mother removed his jacket, he and his mom noticed his left arm was missing. Police were able to recover the arm, which was sewn back on at a Marsailles hospital.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL
Police in New Rochelle, New York say Lucy Amador posed as a loan applicant before she held up Marine Midland Bank for 10-grand. Police arrested her at her home less than two blocks away, using the name and address she had written on the loan application.

FILE UNDER X?
Maria Tejada of Kissimmee (kih SIM' ee), Florida says she was watching TV when the ghostly voice of her late father ordered her to get off the couch. Moments later, an out-of-control car crashed through the wall, destroying the couch and TV. Tejada was unharmed.

A DUMMY FOR DATA
A Detroit man walked up to a police squad car display for kids and asked to see how their computer worked. Officers asked for his ID, so they could show R.C. Gaitlan what data the computer could find. Gaitlan was arrested on the spot when the screen showed he was wanted for armed robbery in St. Louis.

CLOSE TO THE HEART
A T.J. Maxx store owner in Rochester, New York asked his partner in an insurance scam to shoot him in the shoulder. But his accomplice in the fake robbery was a bad shot - and fired a bullet into John Beaver's chest instead. Beaver survived, but his jilted girlfriend turned him in.

A SMOKEY MOUNTAIN
A truck driver in the mountains outside Ankara, Turkey found that his deisel tank had melted overnight. He lit a fire under his fuel tank. Duh. Firefighters brought the blaze under control after the big rig was totally incinerated.

CARDED & COLLARED
A Colorado Springs convenience store clerk handed over the store's cash to a robber with a shotgun. But the clerk refused to let the bandit have a bottle of liquor unless he could prove he's 21. The crook showed the clerk his driver's license, which was used to identify and capture him two hours later.

FALLEN GOES FOR ARCHES
A man with a handkerchief over his face who attempted to rob a church in Trinidad was recognized by a Catholic leader who once helped him - the Archbishop of the Port of Spain. The would-be thief broke into tears and kissed the Archbishop's feet, begging for forgiveness.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
Fayez Handy of Bakersfield, California missed his high school graduation ceremony because he'd joined the army. So recently, he stopped by East Bakersfield High to pick up his diploma. Yes, they had it waiting for him in a file from his graduation ... from the class of  '42!

CLOSE, BUT NO CIGARS
A Charlotte, North Carolina man took an insurance company to court to get them to pay for a series of small fires that destroyed his expensive cigars ... he smoked them. After the court ordered the insurance company to pay the man 15-grand, the verdict was used to convict him of intentionally burning his insured property. He got a 24-thousand dollar fine and 2 years in jail.

FROM ONE PEN TO ANOTHER
Inmates in Medina, Ohio got an offer to get out of jail early. A judge offered inmates one day off their sentence for every day worked ... cleaning up a pig farm so nasty that it was shut down by the State Health Department.

PLEASE AND THANK YOU
Two teenage girls from Birmingham, Alabama might be crooks, but their parents instilled some good manners in them. While robbing a shoe store, one of the girls told the clerk she was sorry she was doing it because the clerk was so nice. The girls politely waited when the worker said she'd have to finish up with another customer first. While they waited, police responding to a silent alarm arrested the suspects.

IT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING...
A Princeton, Minnesota high school was evacuated when ticking sounds were heard coming from a locker. The bomb squad found a battery-operated cassette deck which had reached the end of its tape and was clicking and clicking and clicking...

DISHONEST JOHN'S SON
Officers in Montclair, New Jersey asked a man and his 5-year-old son if they'd seen anyone suspicious in the area. The kid told officers his daddy was trying to break a car window with a brick. When the father denied it, the boy said, "Don't lie to the police, Daddy." John Clifton has been charged with possession of burglary tools and child endangerment.

TOLD YOU WE NEEDED MORE HORSEPOWER
Bandits bashed their way into a Brussels, Belgium bank with a bulldozer. But their heavy equipment could not lift the safe. The bulldozer and the truck used to transport it were found abandoned at the site when police arrived.

AN ILLEGAL OPERATION
Two brothers in Beijing have been arrested for pulling off one of the first cyber-bank robberies. They set the computers at the bank to transfer 31-thousand-dollars to them over the internet. They were caught when police traced a pager left near their computer equipment which was hidden in the ceiling of the bank.

ANYBODY HOME?
Thieves in an L.A. suburb used dynamite to blow out a wall directly behind the safe in a shopping center bank. But with all their careful planning the crooks got nada. They must have cased the bank two weeks earlier - before the branch was closed down and the safe was emptied.

CONGRATULATIONS, FELON!!!
Nearly 300 people from the 6 New England states received a notice to pick up the brand new stereo they'd won. The notice, however, was a ploy by police to round up wanted fugitives. 11 people with outstanding warrants were captured, leading one officer to call the experience "downright enjoyable."

GOING POSTAL
Police were called when several armed men in camoflague outfits ran into a Twin Falls, Idaho post office. Police surrounded the post office with guns drawn, only to discover the men were acting as a color guard for the swearing in of a new postmaster.

UP IN SMOKE
Sheriff's deputies are a little out of joint in Franklin County, Washington. It seems somebody stole 36 marijuana plants that were being dried so they could be incinerated by police. One deputy figures the plants are being burned in an entirely different manner.

CROOK LEFT STUCK BY STICK
Sean Mulligan has pleaded guilty to carjacking after Mays Landing, New Jersey police found him very easy to catch. Mulligan was captured in a foot chase because he couldn't start the car he jacked...he didn't know how to drive a car with a manual transmission.

GUESS WHO?
The man convicted of shooting Filipe Montiero says his victim is abusing him in jail. The man Zeferino DePina shot has become a guard at the Boston prison where DePina's incarcerated.

HE'S EVERYWHERE! HE'S EVERYWHERE!
A cashier at a Stockholm post office is seeking psychiatric counseling after a man went on a rampage smashing stamp dispensers and glass counters. Police say the perp - who ran off and remains at large - was dressed in a chicken suit.

WHAT...NO TRAIL MIX?
A Miami couple tipped a cab driver 200-dollars when he hand-delivered a back pack they'd lost at the airport. Inside the bag was 2-thousand-dollars cash, an 800-thousand-dollar certificate of deposit and 40-thousand-dollars worth of jewelry.

©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.