©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.
The biggest fear an officer has during a traffic stop is being fired upon. But no officer expects the shots to be coming from his own cruiser. An electrical fire in an Augusta, Kentucky police car caused 9-millimeter rounds to explode inside the vehicle. While firefighters doused the blaze, the officer let the traffic violator go with a warning.
Police in Gulfport, Mississippi got more than they bargained for when they picked up a 23-year-old man on charges of urinating in public. When he emptied his pockets at the holding tank, police found a stick-up note. The suspect was charged with robbing a nearby bank.
One of Japan's biggest banks has apologized for sending an e-mail virus to some of its customers. A memo sent from a personal computer - instead of the bank's system - installed a program on the recipients' computers which made their monitors read you're a big stupid jerk on the 14th of every month.
A 17-year-old bank robber in Hermiston, Oregon made it easy for police to find him. He jumped into the trunk of his car to change his clothing ... and got locked in. Police heard his cries for help and popped open the trunk, arrested the robber and recovered the stolen cash.
CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN
An Abbotsford, B.C. man - who pulled over to take a roadside bathroom break - lost his balance and fell down an embankment. Rescuers found him caught in some wires at the bottom of the hill with his pants down around his ankles.
CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS OFF
A woman who caught a burglar in the act in Santa Rosa, California grabbed his sweatshirt as he tried to escape. His sweatshirt came off, so she grabbed his sweatpants. They came off, too, spilling his stolen money. Sonoma County sheriff's deputies found the perp sitting naked in a nearby tree.
1-point-6-million dollars mysteriously appeared in the checking account of a Huntsville, Alabama man. So he paid off his truck and credit cards, bought gold jewelry for his wife, and invested thousands. It wasn't long before the bank discovered another client had the wrong account number printed on its deposit slips. Roger Dudley says for the rest of his life, he can look back and remember when he was a millionaire.
Police in Bad Urach, Germany have determined that a 51-year-old hunter was shot and killed by his dog. Evidence showed that as the hunter was driving his pickup truck, the dog jumped on a loaded rifle, firing it.
LIFE IMITATES SCHOOL
A Columbus, Ohio man picked the wrong time to rob a bank. He pulled the stick-up while a police officer was teaching employees what to do during a robbery. Although it wasn't meant to be part of the lesson, employees learned how to apprehend a bank robber, too.
It sounded like a comedy bit: two police cruisers collided while hurrying to a donut shop in Panama City, Florida. But it was no laughing matter. They were speeding to an armed robbery in progress. One of the officers stressed that he didn't even like donuts.
According to a Henderson, Tennessee high school handbook, swearing could cost a student his life. It reads: Profane language will not be tolerated. Stern discipline will be death to any student guilty of this conduct. Principal Paul Decker points out the word death should read dealt.
PLEASE & THANK YOU
Six armed bank robbers in Nairobi exhibited more politeness than their victims expected. They made off with 120-thousand dollars in cash and the wallets and jewelry of all bank's employees. But first, they promised they'd mail back all items of sentimental value, such as wedding rings.
I'LL HAVE TO ASK MY MUMMY
Police in Vienna who were checking on expired license plates smelled something foul from the apartment of a 59-year-old woman. She claimed the stench came from a restaurant next door. But police discovered the woman had been living for two years with the corpse of her dead mother wrapped up in a carpet. The woman said she couldn't face parting with her mom.
HELLO, IT'S ME
A crook approached a convenience store cash register in New Britain, Pennsylvania with wallet in hand, just like a paying customer. When the clerk opened the register, the man grabbed over 200 dollars in cash and ran out. But he left his wallet - complete with photo ID and birth certificate - on the counter. Police arrested him within 20 minutes.
BUT IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON THE DRIVER?
A Rhode Island state trooper pulled over a 99-year-old Newport woman who was driving erratically. The driving license she produced had been issued in 1917. But the trooper reported that it was valid. In 1917, Rhode Island licenses didn't have expiration dates.
WHAT A BOZO
Police in Astoria, Oregon cited a driver for pulling over cars with an unauthorized siren. The driver had unruly flaming red hair and a large round red nose. He was a clown, driving a bright orange clown-mobile to a parade.
Fidel Feliciano of Manchester, Connecticut thought his illegal police siren would be fun. He used it to force a car to pull over, so he could speed on a local turnpike. Unfortunately, the car he chose to pull over was an unmarked cruiser. Feliciano was charged with illegal possession of weapons and, of course, the siren.
Two teenagers wanted for kidnapping and carjacking in Yorkville, Illinois picked the wrong place to hide out. An off-duty sherriff's deputy found them sleeping in his living room. He confiscated their 9-millimeter handgun and took them into custody for the Yorkville Police.
BEE-WARE OF THE SPILL
The Hazardous Material Squad in Rumford, Maine found a sweet surprise when responding to a spill on a local highway. A truck had spread 55 gallons of honey on the roadway. When high-pressure water hoses only made the honey thicker, crews decided to cover the sticky stuff with sand and let nature take its course.
A LARGE PIECE OF EVIDENCE
A Portland, Oregon man was charged with attempted murder and kidnapping after his victim turned out to be too much to handle. The woman gouged the suspect's eyes. He got away from her by stealing her van. Police say they had no trouble finding Cornell Colbert, because he left his own car at the scene of the attempted abduction.
Two Canadian women gave a whole new meaning to the term powdered wig. Customs agents in Miami arrested them when security x-rays revealed they were carrying Jamaican cocaine under their hair pieces.
NO HONOR AMONG THIEVES - PART 1
It just wasn't Cerillo Sanchez's day. First, four men forced their way into Sanchez's home and stole all his cash. Then, a neighbor phoned police about the robbery. Officers who responded found a drug lab cooking up 100-thousand-dollars worth of meth in Sanchez's garage.
NO HONOR AMONG THIEVES - PART 2
Prisoners at a jail in Sao Paulo, Brazil got an extra reminder that crime doesn't pay. Bandits broke into the prison and stole all the money prisoners had been saving ... about 28-thousand-dollars in cash.
A man stopped for a traffic violation near Atlanta told police he was transporting red snapper from Kentucky to Florida. One officer got suspicious because he knew red snapper wasn't native to Kentucky. The other officer knew there was plenty of red snapper in Florida. The cargo turned out to be marijuana and 100-thousand dollars cash.
A burglar in Mainz, Germany gave his victim some financial advice. The thief stole over 400-dollars and left a note advising the resident to write off the loss as a charitable contribution.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I PUT ON THIS DISGUISE
A Stanwood, Washington man made a big mistake when holding up a convenience store. He was recognized as a regular customer before he donned a mask and brandished a gun. The clerk and several patrons had no trouble identifying the man.
OUCH! OUCH!! OUCH!!!
A 22-year-old Anaheim, California burglary suspect made three big mistakes. First, he picked the house of a police officer, who was at home and armed. Second, after the officer fired a shot at him, he ran straight into a cluster of cactus plants. Third, while jumping over a wrought iron fence, he speared himself in the groin. He managed to get away, but was arrested later that day when he showed up in a local emergency room to get treatment for his injuries.
SCARED STRAIGHT OVER
Pennsylvania state troopers turned a routine speeding warning into a massive cocaine bust because a passenger was too nervous. When asked if they were carrying drugs, guns or anything illegal, the passenger fainted, rolling over the guard rail. Police seized 10 kilograms of coke in shoe boxes.
GUYS LIKE ME
A 10-year-old Massachusetts boy made news in 1991 when he wrote a letter to Governor Weld asking him to stop the violence, put bad people in jail, and force drug dealers go back to school. Eight years later, the writer is at the other end of his request. Jason Meeks was charged with shooting and killing Tari Thomas while Thomas was riding his bike.
Freida Folsoms of Lodi, California had her purse stolen in 1963. The thief must have harbored guilt over the years. The 78-year-old recently received an envelope containing 500-dollars, with a note that said: Sorry we took your money. We needed it at the time. Folsoms said she was going shopping.
SISTERS OF MERCILESS
A suspect who was burglarizing the the Sanctuary Of The Virgin Of Miracles in Colombia shouldn't have figured its nuns would be forgiving if he got caught. Two sisters shot the intruder dead, taking turns on a Smith & Wesson .38 revolver.
NO JACK CITY
A Charlotte, North Carolina carjacker tried to steal a Mercedes at gunpoint, but he wasn't familiar with its manual transmission. He demanded that the car's owner show him how to escape from the grocery store parking lot. Ten minutes later, he was still bumping things in the lot and the Mercedes owner had escaped. So the suspect abandoned the Mercedes and jacked a Taurus with an automatic transmission. As he sped off, he crashed into the SUV of an off-duty police officer ... who nabbed him.
"DO THE HOKEY POKEY" - FIRST VERSE ONLY
Thieves stole every single shoe on display when they burglarized a large store in northwest Colombia. But because they were display shoes, all 16-thousand-dollars worth of stolen goods were for right feet only. The 756 matching left shoes were locked away in a storeroom.
HI, OFFICERS, HAPPY TO SEE YOU
A Seattle bank robber forgot to bring along a money bag for his loot. So he made off with 25-hundred dollars stuffed into his pockets. Police spotted the crook and his bulging pockets in a parking lot a few blocks away. When asked to produce an ID, the suspect accidentally let a wad of 20s fall out of his pocket. He was arrested on the spot.
RIDE-ALONG TO JAIL
Michael Martinez wanted to ride along with the Fresno, California police. But he didn't know a background check was part of the clearance process for ride-alongs. He was arrested on an outstanding felony warrant.
YOU'RE IN A PLAY
Author Studs Terkel was confronted by a burglar in his bedroom. Chicago police say Turkel handed over his cash, then told the crook he was flat broke and could use 20 bucks. The armed burglar handed him a twenty before his escape.
SAY, THAT CHAIR LOOKS COMFORTABLE
A Palm Springs-area sheriff's deputy thought the payload of a pickup truck looked familiar. On close examination, he realized the truck he'd pulled over was filled with items from his own apartment. The driver and passenger were booked on burglary charges.
The DuPage County, Illinois Health Department launched an investigation when a locally-made barbecue sauce started living up to its name: Thermo-Nuclear. In two separate cases, the bottles of sauce have exploded for no apparent reason. In one case, the mess caused 500-dollars damage, but there were no injuries. Ironically, the bottles' labels read: I survived Col. Johnson's Thermo-Nuclear Barbecue Sauce.
Officials in Johannesburg busted two brothers who cheated by running a relay race in the South Africa Marathon. They were foiled when photographs showed them wearing different rings at different check points.
A police officer in Buenos Aires stopped a woman from jumping off a water tower by handcuffing himself to her and saying if she jumped, he'd fall, too. The woman gave herself up when the officer told her about the kids he'd leave behind.
IF I ONLY HAD MY BRAIN
Joe Staudt is happy to have his brain back. His brain was among the items found in the trunk of a car by Lawrence, Kansas police during a drug search. The preserved human brain had disappeared from Staudt's high school science class a year earlier.
LARGE DEPOSITS MUST BE MADE UPSTAIRS
Two crooks robbed valuables from an Amsterdam bank before they were even deposited. They set up a fake bank manager's office a floor above a real bank, where they signed for 460-thousand dollars worth of valuables from two German investors. Then they disappeared.
ROVER THE RAT
Police in Frankfurt responded to a call from a man being threatened by a rat, only to find the the rodent was the size of a dachshund. Officers had to shoot the hissing rodent because it was as vicious as a rottweiler.
U.S. Marine Lance Corporal Ryan Henderson sent an unusual post card home from Kosovo. It was a piece of cardboard ripped from a food ration box on which he scribbled a message to his dad. It's a good thing the mail made it to its destination ... Lance Corporal Henderson is the son of the Postmaster General.
A cook at a Newport News, Virginia steak house dropped the bad guy during a recent armed robbery. John Brumbaugh said he used a move he'd seen while watching wrestling on TV. Patrons helped hold down the crook until police arrived.
A FAMILIAR RING TO IT
When Norman Lewis proposed to his sweetheart in 1969, he gave her his high school ring. His fiance lost the ring at an Orlando beach just months later. But a 10-year-old boy found it thirty years later, inside the belly of a 4-foot shark he caught while fishing. After tracing Lewis through his high school, the ring has been returned to Lewis and the woman who became his wife.
THAT AIN'T CRUEX
A suspected drug dealer in Astoria, Oregon stashed cocaine down his pants as police were writing him a ticket for driving without a license. The cocaine started burning a sensitive male area ... so before police could finish questioning his passengers, the crook pleaded with the cops to get the baggie out of his pants.
THE CROOK IS ALL WET
A 25-year-old burglary suspect who was the subject of a police foot persuit jumped into San Rogue Lake in Buenos Aires. But he didn't know how to swim. Police jumped in and saved the suspect, and then arrested him.
Some people let their hair down. But in the case of Irma Acosta-Arya of Hackensack, New Jersey, her hair let her down. Just after pleading innocent to cocaine and heroin possession charges, Acosta-Arya was searched by a sheriff's deputy who found 21 bags of smack and 22 bags of coke hidden under her wig and in her underwear. Her bail was revoked.
JUST CALL ME PAT
A suspect in in Bensalem Township, Pennsylvania robbed a bank dressed as a man, but was caught while dressed as a woman. Police say the suspect switched from a he to a she just outside the bank's rear exit. A strip search revealed the suspect had the physical attributes of both genders, but police said technically, he was a man.
I'M OUTTA HERE
A 6-year-old boy from Fairfield, Ohio escaped from a day care center. He found a battery-powered kids' truck outside a second-hand store, hot-wired it, and headed down the highway. He was picked up unharmed on the road to Cincinnati. Police say John Carpenter had the same type of truck at home, so he knew how to hook up the battery cables.
THE COLLAR GAVE IT AWAY
A Franciscan priest saw something familiar in his congregation while saying mass in Salta, Argentina. One of his parishoners was wearing his stolen clothing. The suspect was taken to confession ... at the police station.
EENIE MEANIE CHILI BEANIE
Two con artists posing as fortune tellers in Perth Amboy, New Jersey convinced people that there were curses on their money and jewelry. And that their friendly fortune tellers should hold on to their valuables. Police say it's hard to believe people fell for the scam. The the victims' futures looked brighter, though, when detectives arrested two suspects.
Ricardo Ramirez was just trying to pay a parking ticket. But authorities in Artesia, New Mexico mistook him for a serial killer and threw him in jail for 4½ hours. His girlfriend nearly left him when police told her they thought he was a mass-murderer. Red-faced authorities released him when they confirmed that he was the mayor's brother.
14 UCLA Bruins football players faced charges because they were healthy athletes. L.A. police said the players submitted fake documents to get handicapped parking permits.
YOU'RE BUGGING ME
A pest exterminator in Lincoln, Nebraska was charged with violating health codes after trying to exterminate the pest next door. Police say Fried Freytag doused his neighbor's house and car with 40 gallons of insecticide because the man was setting off fireworks in his back yard.
HOGGING THE TOWEL
Brizella Mortimer of Gifford, Florida was charged with burglary after airing her dirty laundry. A neighbor called police when she recognized her stolen Harley Davidson towel hanging on Mortimer's clothesline. Police say they recovered a number of stolen items in Mortimer's home.
EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE...
Police in Dhaka, Bangladesh captured two monkeys in a drug sting operation. They say the primates were trained to deliver drugs and collect payments from the buyers. We can only assume the monkeys feel the police made humans out of them.
Allen C. Brown was in custody after allegedly killing his girlfriend by stabbing her over a hundred times. But the Pima County, Arizona jail let him go. They never received a notice of his indictment. The missing legal papers were last seen in the sheriff's in-basket.
MY KINGDOM FOR A HOLSTER
From his hospital bed, Jose Muniz told police in Pasco, Washington a stranger had shot him. But later he admitted that he'd shot himself in the thigh while trying to tuck a .22-caliber handgun into his waistband. When x-rays showed he also had a slug in his foot, he told doctors that he'd shot himself five years earlier trying to tuck a .45 into his waistband.
PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE LOCKS
Two churches in Glendora, California found a unique way to keep their congregations safer. The First Christian and United Methodist churches passed out 200 free handgun locks.
KEEPING THE CRIME RATE DOWN
While watching a live TV discussion among those running for mayor of Baltimore, a police officer recognized one of the candidates. He had issued a warrant for her arrest the year before. Republican Dorothy Joyner was arrested outside the TV station on burglary charges. During the broadcast, Joyner had been very critical of the police.
EVERYONE LOVES A DOG STORY
The Hungarians must not have many role models these days. Over a thousand people answering a Budapest internet poll hoped police would not find a serial bank robber who escaped from custody. The crook got caught because he chose to recover his runaway dog rather than run from police after his 27th robbery.
THE SPY WHO CONNED ME
An Orlando, Florida man was charged with conning a clothing store into giving him 15 pairs of jeans by posing as a CIA agent. He flashed an ID and claimed he needed the pants for special agents. When the store manager found out his clerk had been duped, he called police. The suspect was arrested driving a stolen car. He'd manufactured his fake CIA identification on a library computer.
BE MY ALIBI
Two burglary suspects in Salt Lake City got social with an anti-gang unit officer, hoping to create an alibi. But Officer Rich Montanez's partner noticed there were two VCRs in the suspects' back seat. Just then, a call came over the police radio regarding the burglary of two VCRs.
DON'T SAY IT WITH FLOWERS
A woman in Santa Rosa, California was sentenced to sixth months for stabbing her husband in the back. She told police she knifed him because he paid too much for flowers for her birthday party.
SORRY AGAIN, CHARLIE
A fishing boat worker was charged with aggravated assault after attacking a customer with a 20-pound tuna. The incident occured in San Diego, where a man was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend with a tuna fish two weeks prior.
Two crooks from Reykjavik, Iceland picked the wrong vacation spot. They stole a trailer tent from a parking lot and pitched it in a park 25 miles away ... right next to the person from which they'd stolen it.
BONNIE AND CLOD
A couple wanted on bank robbery charges was busted by police after they called 911 requesting some information. Huntington, West Virginia police say Shawn Socha called and asked if there were any warrants out for the arrest of himself and his wife, Mona. They got their answer when detectves arrested them on bank robbery charges from West Virginia and Ohio.
HELL HATH NO FURY
Police in Grafton, Ohio say a woman became a computer hacker - literally - when she chopped her husband's terminal up with a meat clever. Kelli Michetti told police her husband was up until 4 am several days chatting online with other women.
WE THOUGHT YOU'D RATHER HEAR IT FROM US
The court systems in Florida are so slow that people are finding out their spouses have filed for divorce before being served their official papers. How? By lawyers, who are advertising their services by mail using information from public records.
A CROOK BY ANY OTHER NAME...
Criminal charges were dropped against a man in Ottawa because he had so many aliases police couldn't figure out his real identity. Police called John Warnock, Clarence Joyce, Jr., Wayne Hutchings, Gerald Demanko, Paul Davis, Dean Oblin, Travis Bindernagel, Mike Johnston or Randolph Stitt a strange type of guy.
LIFE AT 10 CENTS A MINUTE
A Detroit-area prisoner serving 5 years for telephone stalking had too much time on his hands. Police have charged him with making eight obscene phone calls to women from prison. He now faces a life sentence - without telephone privileges.
IS THIS US?
Jurors who read a Sunday newspaper article about a man they sentenced realized they had made a big mistake. Plainville, Texas police released a New Mexico man from jail after the jury realized it accidentally sent him to prison for 10 years ... instead of giving him the 10 years probation they intended.
DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO
Des Moines city staffers had to break one of the city's new laws. They posted signs on telephone poles announcing that it's illegal to post signs on telephone poles.
GLASS SO CLEAN IT SEEMS TO DISAPPEAR
A Pasadena, California nursing home employee helped snag a burglary suspect by simply closing a door. Police say the suspect had left a sliding glass door open to make a quick escape, but ended up with a face full of glass. Police arrested him at a hospital emergency room and recovered the stolen goods from his car.
©1995-2005 Archer & Valerie Productions.